Season One Moments
by mrandmrsbass
Summary: Chair. The hidden/not so hidden moments throughout the show of Chuck and Blair's relationship, first friendship, then something more. Alternating between B's and C's POV, going episode by episode with a few flashbacks. My chapters will be longer than in my previous stories :)
1. Pilot: Blair's POV

**Episode 1: Pilot-Blair**

"Serena's back? Really?" And with that, my hot boyfriend of about ten years rolled off me and leapt off the bed we had been making out on and started buttoning up his shirt.

I clung to him. "Its just a rumor. Serena's still at school." Because I really needed this to happen now. I did not want to be a virgin for my junior year, and Nate was the only one I wanted to do it with.

Nate shook his head. "No, I think she's really downstairs. I'm going to find out." He left the bedroom with a skip in his step, leaving me still sitting on the bed, in my underwear.

I felt stunned, rejected, and a little faint. It was a good thing I was still sitting down, because my world had just been turned upside down. For a glorious eight months, (well, after I had gotten over the fact that my bitch of a "best friend" had left for boarding school without telling me anything) I had been the center of everything. Serena was out of the picture, so that meant that I was the only one that got blogged about, the only Queen at Constance, and most importantly, the only girl that Nate had a crush on.

And I had to face the facts: if Serena was back, I could count on going back to being second fiddle. The whole reason why I had my "problem" freshman year was because I felt inadequate. Everyone, and I mean _everyone_, compared me to Serena: my mom, my minions, and of course Golden Boy.

The same Golden Boy who had just rolled out of bed because he heard the magical words 'Serena van der Woodsen.' Skipping sex with me, his girlfriend of forever. Aren't guys supposed to like sex? Didn't he want to lose his virginity to me too?

Why did that _bitch_ have to get in the way so much?

I ran downstairs after Nate, straightening my black lacy skirt as I went down the steps (was it just me, or were my calves looking fatter already?)

I had to make this right, put Serena in her rightful place. I was Blair Waldorf, the Queen B of Constance, after all.

And sure enough, Serena was downstairs in _my hallway_, looking as model-esque as ever in dark-wash skinny jeans and thigh-high boots, the kind of boots I would never in a million years be able to pull off without looking like my upper thighs were huge sausages.

She was, of course, the center of attention, which didn't move to me after I descended the stairs. How dare she come uninvited and ruin everything that I had planned with Nate!

I rushed to her, a huge saccharine smile lighting up my face. "Serena!" I exclaimed, giving her a big hug, even if it was just for show. I couldn't let Kati and Isabel and the others know that I hadn't been expecting her arrival, because I was _always _prepared, _always_. "Come, sit. We're just about to serve dinner."

Serena looked panicked. "Oh, no, I'm so sorry B," she said with a small frown, looking at her wrist as though she was checking her watch, although with a quick scan of her arms, I saw that she wasn't wearing one. "I've really gotta be somewhere-it's a family thing," she said vaguely, eyes flitting out the window to Park Avenue beyond.

And with that, she left, leaving everyone at the party stunned and whispering, probably about me, that I couldn't even get my best friend to stay at my party (I hadn't wanted her there, but still). Nate looked like a puppy wanting to chase after his owner. Another reason why he should be put on a leash, I thought wryly. He was like a beautiful pedigree golden retriever with a short attention span and a taste for anything new and sparkly (and tall, and lanky, I added).

I sighed, a loud one that everyone could hear. "I guess she's back for good, then," I spat to myself, venom in my voice.

But oh no. Horror of horrors. Kati and Iz heard. The sidled up to me, phones in hand. "You didn't know she was coming?" they asked, confused and wanting gossip.

I shook my head. "God no. Of course I knew she was coming. I just, uh, wanted it to be a surprise," I finished weakly, voice trailing off. "I better go find Nate," I told them as a parting goodbye. I still wanted to finish this, and it was more urgent than ever now that Serena was back.

I found Nate, chatting up his best friend and sleazeball of St. Jude's, Chuck Bass. Chuck was holding a scotch on the rocks and saying to a crowd of onlookers, mostly female, "And here I thought things were getting dull around here." He looked at Nate and winked, as though he knew something. Nate looked uncomfortable.

I took this as my chance. I grabbed his arm and lead him to a quiet part of the hallway, near the stairs. "Do you still want to go upstairs? Because the last time, you only got a _glimpse _of my La Perlas," I said in what I thought of as my bedroom voice. I knew it was pretty bad, because I had never tried to seduce anyone. I took his hand and made him feel the soft silk of my black bra.

He shook his head with a look of almost disgust. "I think Serena's entrance kind of killed the mood," he said, and wandered back to where Chuck was sitting.

I followed him. This time it was _me _who was playing the puppy. Just as I entered the room, everyone's phones went off. A Gossip Girl blast. Just what I needed.

_Rumor is S bailed on B's party in under ninety seconds. And she didn't even have one limoncello. Better lock it down with Nate, B. Clock's ticking._

Attached were two photos. One of Serena and me, me giving Serena a dagger glare when she wasn't looking. And the next of me and Nate. It was taken about a minute ago when I had tried to seduce Nate. Whoever had taken the photo had perfectly captured the disgusted look on Nate's face as he rejected me.

Lord God, Sweet Virgin Mary, what the fuck. This was horrible. Normally, I kind of liked being blogged about by gossip girl, because it was usually flattering pieces about taking down minions or cute dates with Nate. Never this. Everyone was staring at me, and the whispers had started up again.

Suddenly I wanted to run to the bathroom and puke my guts out. This situation was too much. I would much rather have a distant Serena in Connecticut than here, stealing my Natie, and creating such horrible gossip about me. If it wasn't for Serena, nobody would think I was desperate with Nate, because the deed would have already been done.

As I scanned the room for a friendly face, and _not _Nate, I realized that Chuck Bass had left. Well, I guess that was good. He didn't need to witness another one of my episodes again. He had walked in on me throwing up once in freshman year. It was a party that I had hosted. My mom had taken one look at my dress and said. "Next time, wear something that fits you better. You're gaining too much weight for that dress. It would look _much _better on Serena, because she has the body type for it." I had rushed to the bathroom and threw up everything I had eaten that day. When I was laying on the bathroom floor, Chuck Bass had walked in. I hadn't known him as well as I did now, but I had known that if he had wanted to leak my secret, he could have ruined my reputation.

But he hadn't. He had picked me up off the ground with a scared look on his face. "Waldorf, what are you doing to yourself?" He had asked.

I had shook my head, as in, _don't bother with me. _But he had stayed with me in my room for the rest of the party, murmuring things about how I was skinny enough as it was and any guy would be a fool not to fall in love with me.

My stomach had started fluttering at that because _did that just mean Chuck Bass, notorious womanizer, had just said that he had fallen in love with me?_

He had realized his mistake and backtracked with an, "I meant Nathaniel, of course," but he still had stayed with me and made sure I was okay.

During freshman year, we had been nicer to each other, treating each other as not friends-of-friends but actual friends. Nate had liked that I was making an effort to be friends with his friends, and Chuck...well, Chuck was always an enigma.

But in Serena's absence he had become one of my close friends and co-conspirators. He had crafted some devious social destruction plans with me, like when we got rid of Georgina. And he was one of the four people who knew about my problem: it was him, Dorota, Eleanor, and Serena. Nate had never paid enough attention to realize. He, along with Dorota, had convinced me to start seeing Dr. Sherman for therapy. I only went for three months, but that was enough. I hadn't binged or purged in almost nine months. I never knew why he cared so much, but it was nice that I had someone who cared.

But I guess that was going down the drain now. Chuck was probably having sex with one of his whores in his limo. And I had to throw up. It was the only way I knew how to get rid of this horrible feeling.

As I rounded the corner to go upstairs to my bedroom, I bumped into somebody coming down. It was Chuck, clearly not banging a whore. He had a concerned look on his face, and he grabbed my arm as I continued up the stairs without acknowledging him.

"Come on, Waldorf, you know you shouldn't do that. I _know _what you're thinking of doing right now."

I kept climbing the stairs, pulling him with me, as he just wouldn't let go of me. "Calm down, it's not like I'm going to die. Go back to your scotch and let me handle this."  
He shook his head. "We both know that you don't want a relapse. If someone found out, you know what it could do for your social standing," he said with a small smirk, although it didn't reach his eyes.

I stopped in my tracks and almost slapped him. "Are you saying that you'll _tell Gossip Girl _about my problem?"

He nodded. "If that's what it takes to get you to stop."

I let out a haggard breath. "Why do you _care _so much, Chuck? Why do you _hate me?_"

He drooped a little. "I don't know," he said truthfully and almost a little wistfully. And with that, he left, with me confused for the millionth time that night. Why _did he _care?

"I hate you, Chuck Bass," I called down the stairs, although it seemed a little unsure even to my ears. I didn't even know if he heard it.

But I didn't throw up that night.

* * *

School was the perfect time to hold court with my minions and reinforce that although Serena may be back, I was still Queen. So you could imagine my dismay when I saw Serena in the center of _my _usual entourage, hugging Penelope like she was a long-lost sister.

"B!" Serena said, with a huge smile lighting up her golden features, "Penelope was just telling me about your party. Kiss on the Lips? When is it?"

I smiled haughtily, not showing any teeth. Time to put this little bitch in her place. "The party's on Saturday. And you're kinda not invited," I simpered.

Serena's glowy smile fell. I was glad. She was a lot less beautiful when she wasn't smiling. "Why?" she asked. "This is the first big party of junior year, I want to help you kick it off."

I brushed off her seemingly helpful comment. She probably just wanted to talk to Nate. "Because up until twelve hours ago, we all thought you were in Connecticut. Way to pull a fast one. And Jenny took our last invitation." I gestured to Jenny Humphrey, my newest intern. She had agreed to write all the invitations in calligraphy in exchange for one for herself. I could have easily added one more for Serena, but that would defeat the purpose.

I smiled cruelly at Serena once more. "That's it. We should be going," I called to my entourage, motioning toward school.

Jenny hesitated. "Um, actually, Serena-" she started. I stamped on her foot to cut her off. "That's enough, Little J. Pipe down or else you won't be going to the party."

Jenny was quiet. Good, it was about time people learned their place.

* * *

As we were walking over to Constance-St. Jude's, I spotted Nate and Chuck returning from a walk in the park. Nate's pupils were really dilated and he was obviously stoned. _Way to make a great impression on the first day, Nate, _I thought. He didn't know when enough was enough.

They were making their way towards me. Ew, I hated the smell of pot.

"Nate," I said as sweetly as I could and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, giving him a peck on the lips and trying to breathe through my nose, not my mouth.

I pulled back. "Bass," I greeted Chuck. I was still mad at him for last night, of course. He looked more pulled together than Nate. His eyes were regular-sized and of course, his outfit was flawless. If he wasn't such a womanizer, I would assume he was gay.

He looked me up and down, and from his appraisal, I knew he knew that I hadn't thrown up last night. Usually I looked haggard after a relapse, but I didn't today. Today I was perfect. "Waldorf," he said, sounding pleased that his blackmail had worked.

He gave Nate a loaded glance and said to him, "remember what we talked about."

Talked about what, exactly? Ugh, I hated the Basshole's crypticness. Why couldn't he be as transparent as Nate?

"What was that all about?" I asked Nate, still trying to hold my breath.

He smiled dreamily. "You'll see tonight," he murmured, then began to kiss my neck.

As much as he smelled bad, I did admit that this was hot. Nate had invited me to dinner tonight about a week ago and I was planning to show him up to my penthouse after. Tonight had better be the night...

I pulled away as a horrible thought came over me. "You said you were talking to _Chuck _about tonight?" He had better not have told Nate about my problem...I could just picture dinner-_Blair, no, you have to eat dessert. Chuck told me about your eating disorder. Eat as much as you want to, because I'm fine if you turn into a blimp. I'll even feed you my brownie. _

Nate shrugged, breaking me out of my horrible imagined scene. "Just a little advice, you know," he said nonchalantly.

I smiled in relief. "He didn't tell you anything, right?" I asked, just to be sure.

Nate shook his head. "Just told me how I should approach this date," he said, a little leeringly.

I shuddered. Chuck was giving Nate advice on how to have sex with me? That thought was almost too gross to process. I didn't want Nate pulling Chuck's slimy moves on me, I wanted the Nate who was going to lose his virginity tonight as I lost mine. Not a man-whore's take on sex.

I pulled away from Nate a little. "I don't think you'll need his advice. I bet you're a natural." Was it just me, or did he look a little uncomfortable? Okay, so maybe Nate was a prude. Whatever.

I pecked him on the lips and left for my first class, saying, "See you tonight, babe. I love you!"

He returned the statement, of course. But was it just me or was he looking not at me but behind me, to where Serena was standing?

* * *

Serena caught my arm as I sashayed to AP Biology. "Listen Blair. I'm so sorry about how I've acted this past year. Can we _please _get drinks or something? I really want to make it up to you."

I scoffed. "Make up what? How you never called me to tell me _you were moving to boarding school?" _

Serena hung her head. "I know. There was a lot going on then. I really am sorry, B. Maybe I can explain more?"

I sort of wanted to know what had made her leave. So I agreed. "I have a date with Nate after, so it'll just have to be one drink. But meet me at the Palace Bar and 7:30."

I walked away, letting my posse envelop me.

But my eyes didn't miss Chuck standing in the hallway, having heard our conversation. His eyes had a pained look, as if there was something that I shouldn't know. What did he want me not to find out?

* * *

I showed up to the Palace fashionably late. It wasn't my fault that Dorota had stopped me to talk about forgiveness and then lectured me about safe sex with Nate. Okay, _maybe _it was my fault that I tried on 10 different outfits before deciding on the perfect one, and that I had curled my hair before and after I had put on my headband. But Serena deserved to wait a little.

Serena looked like she was not on her first drink. Her hair was a little mussed, and her eyes were red-rimmed. Was she crying about me? I didn't think she was that weak. Must be about something else, I decided. Unless she was actually really drunk.

Her eyes lit up when she saw me. "B!" She called. They narrowed again when she realized how perfect I looked and she put it together that I had been purposely late.

I sat down and ordered one glass of wine. It was a much classier choice than Serena's vodka martini.

Serena sighed. "So how's your mom doing with the divorce and everything?" she started.

I closed my eyes a little. I hated to rehash this. Daddy leaving was painful enough, I didn't need Serena pretending she cared twisting the knife in further. So I settled on sarcasm. "Great. So my dad left her for another man. She lost fifteen pounds, got an eye lift. It's been good for her."

"I'm really sorry," Serena pleaded for the millionth time today.

"Yeah, I could tell. Since you didn't call or write the entire time it was happening. Do you know how it felt calling your house when you didn't show up at school and having your mom say, 'Serena didn't tell you that she moved to Connecticut?'" It was still painful, the thought of my so-called best friend leaving and deciding not to tell me. Whatever she had to leave for was not so bad that she couldn't tell me.

"I just, I had to go. I needed to get away from everything... Please just trust me." Everything meaning me? Everything meaning her family? Ugh, I hated her right now, waltzing back into my life and expecting me to take her back.

"How can I trust you when I feel like I don't even know you!" I almost yelled at her. How could Serena be so stupid?

Serena was still pleading. "Let's fix that. I saw you at school with Kati and Iz, and I get it. I don't want to take any of that away from you—"

"Because it's just yours to take away, isn't it." I really, really wanted to stay Queen Bee. But I knew she could take that away in an instant. That, and Nate.

"No, that's not what I mean, I... I miss you. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be."

I saw the pain in her eyes and relented a little. I needed a best friend after all, a true equal. As long as she didn't go after Nate, all would be fine. I took her hand.

She smiled. "I love you, B."

"I love you too, S." And then I left to go to my date with Nate. When I looked back, I caught Serena emptying her martini.

I shrugged (obviously they banned alcohol at boarding school) and checked my phone at the new Gossip Girl blast.

_Spotted at The Palace Hotel: S and B having a heart-to-heart. Hm... why so thirsty, S? You may have won over B for now but we still think you're hiding something._

I ran into Chuck before I went out the doors.

"Is Serena in there?" he leered at me.

"Yes. Ugh, why?" I asked him.

He looked a little concerned. "What did you guys talk about?"

I rolled my eyes. "She apologized, of course. Asked how my mom is doing. Why?"

He sighed. It seemed like he was relieved. "She didn't tell you why she left, right?"

Damn. That's what I had been meaning to ask her. "No."

He visibly relaxed.

"You don't _know _why_, _right?" I asked him, suspicious.

He raised his eyebrows. "Of course not," he said smoothly. "I just have a feeling it might be something crazy, and you know how I like social destruction."

I looked at the clock above his head. 8:15. I was 5 minutes late to meet Nate. "While this conversation has been amusing, I've gotta meet your best friend for a date. I think tonight's the night," I blurted out before realizing who I was talking to. UES rule #1: Don't talk about sex to Chuck Bass.

His face turned into a smirk. "Good. It was about time that our dearest Nathaniel deflowered you," he purred.

Ew, how were girls seduced by this slimeball? "I'm leaving now," I said, stalking out of the lobby. "Goodbye, Bass," I called over my shoulder.

"Good luck tonight, Waldorf," he called back.

I sighed. Chuck Bass was hard to shake.

* * *

I guess Chuck's advice had paid off, because tonight was going amazing. Nate had taken me out to an amazing dinner place and not mentioned anything about my problem. I had only picked at a salad, so I felt amazing in my new lingerie.

And Nate was amazing. Even though I knew he wasn't experienced, he made out like he was. In my mind, I was yelling _I love you, I love you, _and I wanted this feeling to last forever. I was ready.

I started to unbutton his pants, and Nate groaned and rolled off of me.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, a sinking feeling in my stomach.

He sighed. "Look, I don't know how to say this—or if it's even the right thing to do—but... there's something I need to tell you."

Oh no. "Is this about us?" He was going to dump me, he didn't feel physically attracted to me...God, I was going to throw up. Or faint. Whatever came first.

Nate cleared his throat. "Last year, just before Serena left...the Sheperd wedding. We did something I really regretted, and I would feel horrible not telling you if I took your virginity."

Oh no. This was worse. I always knew Serena had a thing for Nate! And we had just made up...dammit. She was so not my best friend anymore.

"Best friends just don't kiss each other's boyfriends," I murmured to myself.

Nate heard me and looked at me. His eyes were full of pain and regret.

"But...that was it...you guys kissed?" I asked, my voice raising up at the end like a question.

He shook his head.

Suddenly, I was mad. Like about to throw a temper tantrum mad.

"I knew it! I always knew there was something! Get out!" I roared.

He left with no argument.

I started to cry, rushing to the toilet. There was nothing Chuck could do to stop me now.

My months of restraint disappeared down the toilet, just like the vomit.

I laid on the tile floor after it was over, feeling faint.

After a while-a minute, an hour?-Dorota found me in my sorry state. "Miss Blair!" She said, shocked. She placed a cool washcloth on Blair's cheek. "I call Mr. Chuck, yes?" she asked me.

I nodded weakly. As much as I might hate to admit it, Chuck was my only hope. I wouldn't dare tell Serena or Nate, and God help me if one of the minions found out about this secret.

It seemed like forever until Chuck showed up at my bedroom door. I had put old sweats on and was lying curled up in my bed. _The Notebook_-how cliché was that?-was on the TV, and I was sure my eyes looked like raccoons because I had been crying nonstop.

"Come in," I sighed. Good thing I wasn't trying to impress Chuck because I was sure I looked heinous.

He walked in and looked horrified. "Really, Waldorf? You relapsed?"

I nodded slowly. Let him tip Gossip Girl, I thought. I had already lost everything-my best friend, my boyfriend, why not lose my popularity?

But instead of whipping out his phone, he climbed into bed next to me before I could resist. He looked like he had a rough time of it lately, too, I noted. His clothes were all messed up and there was a mark on his cheek as if he had been slapped.

"Listen, Blair, I'm so sorry that you had to find out. And trust me, I was just bluffing when I said what I was going to do if you relapsed. What I really want is you to be healthy."

I laughed mirthlessly. "At least I still have my social standing, then," I remarked to the ceiling, tears still trailing down my cheeks.

Chuck joined my manic laughter. "Look at us, Waldorf," he remarked when I had stopped. "Both so messed up."

I raised my eyebrows. Chuck rarely admitted that he was messed up. "What did you do?"

He sighed. "Let's just say that I tried to put the moves on a girl who wouldn't have it. She really let me know, too." He winced, as if recalling the moment.

"Well, do I know her?" I asked. "Maybe I can help take her down for you?" I propped up on one elbow, already feeling better. There was no better medicine than revenge.

Chuck smiled wryly. "Oh, you know her. And I have no doubt that even before I came over, you wanted to take her down," he said, hinting at her identity.

I was suddenly feeling very better. Now I had Chuck on my hating-Serena side. This friendship really was beautiful.

I stood up. "I feel so much better, Chuck. Thanks for coming," I told him softly, giving him a hand to stand up.

He took it. "Wouldn't have missed it, Blair." I didn't miss how he didn't call me _Waldorf. _

I coughed. This was a little awkward. I didn't have guys in my bedroom often, at least guys who weren't my (ex?)boyfriend.

Chuck smiled tightly. "This is my cue to leave. Tomorrow I'm giving Kati, Iz, and Nate a ride to the party in my limo. Will you be joining?"

I said yes, even though it was just because of Kati and Iz. Nate would be dead to me. "Bye Chuck," I said, not calling him _Bass _either.

Chuck gave me a little salute and left down the stairs.

And once he left, I found I had no urge to either throw up more or cry over Nate. My mind puzzled over this as I drifted off into a soft and dreamless sleep.

* * *

I sighed, picking off the individual particles of rice off from my spider roll with my chopsticks. Nate had texted me in the morning to meet for sushi for lunch at 12, and I had reluctantly agreed. Last night had left me in a calmer state, and I had realized that Serena was the one to be mad at, not Nate. The slutty bitch had probably gotten him drunk and then seduced him. It wasn't his fault that blondes were his type.

But it was 12:15. Where was Nate?

The door chimes jingled, playing a little Japanese tune. Nate stepped into the sushi bar, in workout gear. He had probably just come from a run with the Captain, I realized. It was so sweet how he liked to talk to his dad about his love problems, I thought. He was probably asking him for advice on how to win me back.

What he didn't already know was that he already had me back, as long as he promised to ice Serena out. She was the one who had to go down, for me and Chuck's sake.

Nate sat down and ate one California roll that I had already ordered for him. He was pretty picky when it came to sushi, only liking the basic ones. I loved how I knew that about him. Serena didn't know that about him, I bet.

Nate cleared his throat. "Thanks for meeting me. Look, Blair, I really hurt you and I know that and I want to fix it," he said with a look that was half determined and half unsure. The poor guy was guilty and obviously wanted me back.

I still had to make him work for it, because I was not easy. That was reserved for the needy whores of the world, Serena being a good example. "Really? And how are you gonna do that?" I asked him, my eyes challenging his.

Nate took a deep breath, obviously preparing for whatever he was going to say. "I'm gonna put everything in the past. I'm not gonna see Serena again or even talk to her. It'll be like she doesn't exist."

I smiled. It was perfect. This way I got Nate and Serena got nobody. "I think that's a good idea. Let's not mention it again."

Nate looked a little surprised (and did I sense a smidgen of dismay?). "That's it? 'Cause you were pretty upset last night... I mean, should we talk about this?" Always the caring boyfriend.

"There is nothing to talk about. I overreacted... you say it's in the past, it's in the past. I'm sure you have no feelings for her anymore. I just feel bad for Serena... she'll really miss you," I simpered. I so did not feel bad for Serena. "Chuck invited me to the limo party. What time does it come again?" I asked Nate.

"Eight," he replied. He didn't catch that I talked to Chuck last night, and that's how I wanted it to stay.

"Perfect." And just like that, my world was perfect again.

* * *

"Blair, welcome to the party!" Chuck called from the limo. He was sitting next to Nate, Kati and Iz on the other leather seat.

I scooted in between Chuck and Nate and looped my arm in Nate's. Chuck elbowed me, and I caught his eye and pulled out my phone. He did the same.

_N and I are back under one condition: S is dead to him. _I sent the message and saw Chuck's eyebrows raise happily.

"Looks like this is a cause for celebration!" he said to the whole group, obviously referring to me and Nate getting back together and Serena getting the silent treatment.

He popped a bottle of Dom expertly and poured it into 5 overflowing glasses. "Cheers!" we all called.

And we all had a great time on our way to Kiss on the Lips.

* * *

As I was slow-dancing happily with Nate, two things unsatisfactory happened: one, my phone rang in the special Gossip Girl blast ringtone, and two, Kati, Isabel, and Penelope approached me, looking unhappy.

"Serena's here!" Penelope cried unhappily, pointing at the door. "And she brought some nobody from Brooklyn." Sure enough, Serena was trailing a boy in an army jacket, a buzz cut, and ugly corduroys from the Gap.

I broke away from Nate. "She can't be here. She wasn't invited," I said to my posse, walking toward Serena and Brooklyn.

Nate caught my arm before I could do anything out. "Blair, come on, are you really gonna kick her out?" he pleaded, a little puppy-dog look on his face.

"Did you invite her?" I yelled, seeing red. If he did, that was it.

Nate reeled backwards. "What? No! God! I told you," he mumbled, looking mad that I hadn't trusted him.

It was for good reasons, I reminded myself. He was the one who cheated on me with her. "Do not talk to her," I warned him, then set off to find wherever she went.

Nate sighed, exasperated. "I was going for a walk, anyways." And with that, he left.

God, I was going to kill Serena when I found her. That skank deserved to be taught a lesson.

* * *

I finally caught up to her just as she was leaving in the cab with Brooklyn and a disheveled Jenny Humphrey. _What odd company to keep, _I thought, happy that she had been degraded to consorting with losers.

Nate watched her leave, standing a good distance away from me. I needed some space from him.

A pretty catchy song was playing from inside the club. Not that I wanted to be dancing.

As I was glaring at the departing cab, and Nate, Chuck came up behind me, clutching his scarf and looking very pissed. God, he smelled good, though. I bet he had just got cockblocked again, I thought. I knew how he hated that.

"She better not show he face here again," I told him, eyes still on the yellow vehicle.

Chuck's face was pure rage when I looked at him, but it softened a little to give me a partners-in-crime smirk. "I'm actually hoping she will," he said.

Revenge really was best served cold. And I had the perfect person to dish it up with.

* * *

**Okay, so that was the first chapter! Hope you like the length! Next up is the pilot from Chuck's point of view...**

***Reviews, criticism, follows, favorites always appreciated!***


	2. Pilot: Chuck's POV

_**Hello there. So I am well into the throes of season 5 (on Netflix), which means I am well into Dair. Who thought that was ever a good idea? Writing this was a little hard as I didn't have the best inspiration for it (why couldn't it be like the beginning of s3 always?) but I'm hoping you find this okay. Praying for a Chair reunion!**_

* * *

**Episode 1: Pilot-Chuck**

I lounged on one of the Waldorf's settees, halfheartedly flirting with a girl while still scanning the room. God, there were so many good prospects. Long, tanned legs on all of them, little perky asses covered in chocolate silk, fuchsia chiffon, and my personal favorite, short black lace...

And then my eyes landed on Nate. I perked up. This party was making me sexually frustrated. "Nathaniel, care to take a walk?" I called to him, motioning like I was smoking weed. I had a great stash in my jacket pocket begging to be used up. I needed to loosen up a little before dinner or else I would burst.

"I'd love t-" he started, but Blair walked over and wrapped herself around him. "Too bad. As of now Nate is otherwise engaged."

He pointed at me. "When I get back, man."

Blair kissed his jaw hungrily. "If he gets back," she added, pulling him upstairs.

Damn. That was all I could say.

I was a man of great wealth; whatever I wanted, I could pretty much have. Custom wingtips from Italy, the best pot money could buy, and of course, lots of hot sex.

But I was inexplicably attracted to what I couldn't have. The unattainable.

And the most unattainable thing to me right now was Nathaniel Archibald's girlfriend. Blair Waldorf.

And it wasn't just because Blair was my best friend's girl. It was because she was a virgin, and all guys are attracted to virgins. I vehemently denied that there was anything else to this attraction. She was unattainable, and a virgin. That was all.

So I hoped once Nate got rid of her virgin title once and for all, that attraction would go down the drain, but for now, all I could think about was that little body clad in black lace, and that matching headband...

Fuck.

I hadn't realized that I'd been staring at the stairs which Nate and Blair had disappeared up until Kati, who was sitting next to me, poked me sharply in the ribs. "Chuck!" she exclaimed, and in that moment I was worried that she was going to call me out on having a crush on Nathaniel, or worse, Blair...

"Uh, what?" I asked. Here is comes, here it comes.

But instead of an accusation, she whipped out her phone, open to a recent Gossip Girl blast.

"My God, you'll never believe what's on Gossip Girl," she exclaimed.

My curiosity got the best of me. I took Kati's phone in my own hands and read eagerly.

_Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here... and I have the biggest news ever. One of my many sources, Melanie91, sends us this: Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand: Serena van der Woodsen. Was it only a year ago our It-Girl mysteriously disappeared for quote 'boarding school'? And just as suddenly she's back. Don't believe me? See for yourselves: Lucky for us, Melanie91 sent proof. Thanks for the photo, Mel!_

"Holy shit," I breathed. Serena was back? Blair would be pissed, and Nate would be overjoyed.

Isabel, who was reading along with me (but was a lot slower), said, "Someone saw Serena get off a train at Grand Central?" like it was a question and there wasn't a legit photo attached. God, sometimes people could be so dumb.

I snorted at Isabel. People were crowding around the three of us now, having heard Kati's outburst and wanting gossip. This whole town revolved around gossip. People who claimed they didn't like it, such as trash from the Brooklyn or Queens areas, for an example, were always the ones who depended on it the most.

Might as well give the crowd what they wanted.

"Good, because things were getting a little _dull _around here," I said, my mouth slowly curving into a signature Chuck Bass smirk as I twirled my glass. The crowd laughed, then all turned the attention to the door.

Because stepping through the doorway was none other than Serena van der Woodsen. She looked like a goddess, I had to admit. All long tanned limbs and blonde flowy hair. But she also looked exhausted, like coming back home was the biggest ordeal ever.

_It will be once I'm through with her, _I thought to myself. I knew the reason why Serena had left so abruptly. Even though Serena wasn't nearly as virginal as Blair, I didn't think anyone knew how bad she could be.

Well, except for me. I had caught Serena and Nate doing the deed on top of the bar at the Shepherd wedding.

I had tried to ignore the feeling in my stomach as I was watching, passing it off for sexual arousal (it _was_ live porn), but I knew that wasn't the case. It was more like...anger. Not anger at Nate for being the one to bag Serena first, but anger at Serena. I couldn't believe that she would have done this to Blair, and I knew Blair would be crushed if she found this out.

I needed a powerful partner-in-crime, I told myself. That was the only reason.

And when Blair spiraled downward into her eating disorder, that certainly wasn't powerful. So I urged her to get help, becoming madder and madder at Serena for creating this downward spiral by leaving.

So to say I wasn't pleased with Serena now was an understatement. I was _livid. _Just like Blair would be. We were too similar sometimes.

"Blair, Nate, Serena's here!" Eleanor called up the stairs cheerfully, as if it was completely normal to call your teenage daughter and her boyfriend in the middle of them having sex downstairs to go see their friend who had come back after a year of boarding school; having left because she had slept with the same boy. So very Upper East Side.

I could ruin them all if I leaked it to Gossip Girl. But the only person I really wanted to ruin was Serena. Maybe I wanted to knock some sense into Nate for not caring enough to realize that his girlfriend of forever had an eating disorder, but I certainly didn't want to ruin him. What was the saying: bros before 'hos?

Although Blair was certainly not a whore. I could just tell from the way that Nate had bounded down the stairs that they had not done anything besides kissing. Nathaniel was more of a 'take it slow' guy, not one for a quickie.

Blair was still a virgin. She would be royally pissed at Serena, but I had a mix of emotions swirling around in the pit of my stomach. There was disappointment, of course. Once Blair was no longer a virgin I figured I would lose this...thing in my mind and we could go back to simply being partners-in-crime without any of my emotions getting in the way (Emotions? Chuck Bass?).

But on the other side, I felt something I didn't feel hardly ever. It felt like my whole body was rising, brimming with something (no, not an erection). _Hope. _Why I felt hope that Nathaniel still hadn't sealed the deal with his girlfriend was puzzling to me. And I knew that to keep my best friend, and to keep my reputation, I had to squash this hope about Blair Waldorf. For good.

So I tried to ignore the way that my throat went a little dry as she entered the room and I suddenly was at a loss of words. I opted on repeating the same line as I had earlier; there was a bigger crowd now. "And here I thought things were getting dull around here." I caught Blair's eye, and she gave me an expression between disgust and amusement.

Her face was flushed and embarrassed, I noticed. I bet she had talked to Serena. People were murmuring about how Serena had just come and left, just like that, and didn't even have a drink.

Blair rolled her eyes once more and grabbed Nate's hand, leading him off into the unknown. Good, time to finish this.

But there came that little pang of regret again, sharp and sure. I cursed myself. _Why, out of all the girls on Manhattan, Blair Waldorf? _

Just as my brain began to register that maybe I would still be attracted to her even after she was no longer a virgin, Nate appeared in the doorway, a look on his face like he had just seen his parents having sex. Blair followed right behind him, scowling and looking both disappointed and embarrassed.

The deal had certainly not been sealed. Fucking Nate, I knew he wouldn't even be able to comprehend Blair once he had just gotten a taste of Serena.

All the phones in the room either lit up, vibrated, or rang. Another Gossip Girl alert. She must be having a field day today.

I didn't even have to read the post to know it was about the Blair-Nate-Serena triangle. Nate looked indifferent after he was done reading, but that wasn't a weird thing. He looked indifferent about everything.

Blair, on the other hand, turned a deeper shade of red and fled the room, looking like she wanted to...oh no...

Dammit, she could not afford a relapse. I could not take more of her bulimia. All the denial from everyone. Forcing Blair to see a doctor. Blair being _weak. _She was the most powerful person I knew, no contest.

Well, maybe except for me. I suddenly knew what to do. The only thing she would hate more than a relapse was if it was broadcast to the world through a certain trusty website. I jumped up and ran for the stairs, determined to stop this before she did something she would regret.

Of course I actually wouldn't go through with that. I associated with Blair, after all, and what ruined her would ruin me by association. Not to mention she would hate me. And that would almost be worse than social destruction, because most of the time she was the only person I could count on. Nate was, well, too dumb and scatterbrained to remember me, and forget about Bart. There really wasn't anyone else.

So I needed her to be strong. For me.

I caught her little hand in mine. I could almost see up her skirt at this angle on the stairs. Shit, she was hot.

_Shut your dirty mouth, _the logical side of my head said. My mouth curved into a sad smile.

"Come on, Waldorf, you know you shouldn't do that. I _know _what you're thinking of doing right now." I tried to say it gently, not betraying how invested I was in this. In _her. _

She didn't let go of my hand. That made my throat feel a little tight and my breath quicken. But then she sneered at me, and I remembered why I was here, and why, at this moment, she hated me. "Calm down, it's not like I'm going to die. Go back to your scotch and let me handle this," she said patronizingly, as if I was not capable to take care of her. Which was probably true. I _was_ Chuck Bass after all. I wasn't sure if Chuck Bass did therapy.

So I shook my head. "We both know that you don't want a relapse. If someone found out, you know what it could do for your social standing," I said, forcing my mouth to curve into a smirk, however hard it was. It was remarkably easy for me to threaten a pathetic wannabe like Hazel or one of Nate's lacrosse friends, but when it came to Blair, it was too damn _hard_ to be an asshole. But too bad. Asshole came in my job description.

_It's out of love, _a little voice in my head whispered.

Fuck no. It was- well it was definitely because I hated to feel responsible. And because me and Blair ruled our respective schools. Love was not in my vocabulary.

It was as if Blair had just heard the little voice in my head, because she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, still holding my hand. But she let it go as soon as I looked down at it. She had just heard me telling her I was going to leak her secret to Gossip Girl. That was all. _Phew. _

"Are you saying that you'll _tell Gossip Girl _about my problem?" She looked like she wanted to slap me. But not as if she wanted to go throw up anymore. Good.

I bounced my head up and down, pleased with my plan. "If that's what it takes to get you to stop," I drawled, waggling my eyebrows. She was not calling my bluff.

She sighed loudly, looking at me with a weird expression. Pure hatred mixed with...wistfulness? "Why do you _care _so much, Chuck? Why do you _hate me?_" Her words were biting.

Fuck. I didn't hate her. I did this out of...oh God no. Not the L word. "I don't know," I answered, although I was suddenly dawning on the reason. I had to get out of here. Smoke a joint, hook up with that redhead who was flirting with me at the bar. Anything to get this out of my head.

So I practically ran down the stairs. But my ears couldn't help but catch one last thing.

"I hate you, Chuck Bass," she said. It was a soft declaration, not hard-edged and mean like declarations of hate should be. This one left me a little soft inside.

_Shit._

* * *

I looked out the window of the public bus with a disgusted look on my face, holding my scarf closer to my body lest it pick up some nasty discarded gum. My motto was always leave the public transportation to tourists and people from the outer boroughs. We definitely should have taken the limo this morning.

But then I spotted that stalker-boy from Brooklyn standing one row behind where Nate and I were sitting. I read Gossip Girl and wasn't ashamed about it, and I had seen a post yesterday about him. It said Serena was the love of his life, basically insinuating that he was a psycho stalker, because I was almost positive that the two had never, ever met. What had Gossip Girl called him? Linty Boy?

Public transportation was just about to get more entertaining. I turned to Nate and raised my voice so almost everyone on our section of the bus could hear.

"Serena looked effing hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection... it needs to be violated," I said with a lecherous smirk. I stole a look at Linty Boy. His face turned red, and he raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

Nate chuckled easily. "You are deeply disturbed, my man," he said, patting me on the back, not knowing about Linty behind him looking like he wanted to rip both our heads off.

I shrugged, giving Linty a pointed look. "And yet you know I'm right. You're telling me if you had the chance..." I trailed off suggestively, making Nate look uncomfortable. He didn't know I knew what he and Serena had done, and I fully intended to drop as many hints about it, preferably in public, before someone leaked the secret.

"I have a girlfriend," he stammered defensively. _Yeah, a girlfriend you would probably cheat on again if you had the chance, _I thought wryly.

"You guys have been dating since kindergarten and you haven't sealed the deal," I said, still digging. I needed them to do it, because maybe then I wouldn't have such a burning desire to...

"Who says 'seal the seal'?" Nate said, interrupting me out of my reverie. Good thing, because I probably would have gotten carried away in fantasies of my best friend's girlfriend.

The bus had pulled to a stop, so we stood up. Linty was following way too closely for my liking. His breath smelled like...syrup. Like the syrup on waffles. _Must be a disgusting poor person thing, _I thought.

I turned to him. "You following us or something?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"No, I... I go to your school," he stammered. Good, I liked watching him squirm. "Identical uniforms, that's kind of a tip-off?" Okay, that was too much sass. I gave him a steely glare before turning around, letting my scarf hit him a little. The scarf would have to be sent to dry-cleaning.

"That's funny," Nate said, although his face was straight. We left Linty behind at the bus stop. He went straight up the St. Jude's steps like a kiss-up, whereas Nate and I headed for the park. I had not gotten around to getting stoned and getting laid last night like I planned. Instead, I went home and went to bed alarmingly early for me, unable to do anything else after my odd encounter with Blair. I _still _needed loosening up.

* * *

"This is some good stuff," I told Nate after a few hits. I still had no idea who his dealer was...or who in his house he swiped it from.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need it," Nate answered with a groan. "Blair's mom's at the country house," he said, picking up our conversation from on the bus. I had no idea why he would be so opposed to the idea of sex with someone as attractive as Blair...

"Yeah? Then maybe I should swipe some of my dad's Viagra?" I looked at him, expecting him to at least have some kind of reaction to my comment. But he was just staring straight ahead, moping. I sighed loudly.

"Nathaniel, you're finally about to have sex with your girlfriend. It's like you're heading to your execution," I told him, rolling my eyes.

"No, man. I'm good," he said, shaking his head adamantly and trying to grin, although I could tell his head was saying otherwise.

"Talk to Chuck, buddy. You and Blair have been dating forever, all of a sudden there's a problem?" I asked, trying to play relationship therapist. Of course, I knew the reason, but I wanted his excuse. Plus, I was always secretly pleased when Nathaniel and Blair had relationship troubles. But I did need her to lose her virginity to him...

"There is no problem," he said tiredly, sighing. "It's just... do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us? That we're just gonna... end up like our parents?" Now he was trying to be poetic. God help me.

"Man, that's a dark thought," I said, chuckling. Of course, I would probably end up just like Bart, but without even a child to carry on my legacy, but that was a long ways away.

"You know, aren't we entitled to choose... just to be happy?" he said, his eyes shining, as if he had just discovered the biggest truth of his life thus far. Which he probably had.

I snorted. Nate was not the smartest on a good day. Add pot, and, well... "Look, easy, Socrates," I started, trying to give him a pep talk. "What we're entitled to...is a trust fund, a house in the Hamptons, maybe a prescription drug problem. Happiness does not seem to be on the menu. So smoke up." Nate took a big drag.

"And seal the deal with Blair... 'cause you're also entitled to tap that ass." I said the last part through clenched teeth. Yes, he was _entitled_ to. And I guess he should. If someone was going to do it, why shouldn't it be my best friend?

But why couldn't it be me?

_Because I was Chuck Bass, that's why._ I laughed mirthlessly to myself, realizing this was the first time that my trademark phrase had ever come back to bite me in the ass.

* * *

As we slowly made our way to school, Nate's walk looking very unstable-he had never had a high tolerance for any mind-altering substance-I spotted Blair and a little blonde girl (freshman, from the looks of it) having a heated discussion on the steps.

I gestured to the two of them. "Want to go say hi to your girlfriend before the start of junior year?" I asked him, trying to control the way my voice became harsh when I said _girlfriend. _He probably wouldn't notice, anyway.

Nate shrugged indifferently, but still started walking over. Blair saw us, dismissed the blonde one with a glare, and came to join us. The expression on her face was one of pure disgust. She always hated smoking, I remembered. She was too good for it.

She still embraced Nate tightly, ever the dutiful girlfriend. "Nate!" she cried, as if he had shown up to school with a bouquet of freshly-picked peonies and macaroons for her. How I knew that peonies were her favorite flower and macaroons were her favorite dessert, I had no idea. I grit my teeth as I was forced to look at this PDA moment.

Blair pulled back and regarded me, looking my outfit up and down critically. I guess I had passed her test, so she smiled tightly and said, "Bass." There was no hiding that she was mad at me for last night, but something told me she hadn't actually gone through with it. I had been by her side after many of her episodes to know that she usually had this shadow in her eyes for a day or so afterwards. And unless she had gone crazy with the undereye concealer, I didn't see it.

I pulled one side of my mouth up in a smirk. Sure, I wasn't proud of how I went about it, but I had gotten Blair to not throw up. And that was really all that mattered. "Waldorf," I drawled, scanning her choice of dress as well. She, of course, looked immaculate, in a tiny plaid kilt, navy cardigan, and loose tie. And, of course, the headband. Yellow silk this time, framed by a sea of luscious chestnut curls...

Fuck. Don't get carried away.

Nate. She was Nate's girlfriend, who desperately needed to lose her virginity in order to stop this.

I looked over at Nate, who was sheepishly standing a few feet to the side of Blair, his hands in his pockets. Not a romantic gesture at all. Not good.

"Remember what we talked about, Nathaniel," I hissed at him. His face looked blank, but Blair certainly registered the comment. She steered him away from me, and I could hear her asking him what that was about. I took that as my cue and started walking towards school.

I turned back and saw Nate kissing Blair's neck. Shit, the nape of her neck looked hot. I rolled my eyes at myself and tried to convince myself how great it was to play matchmaker. When it really actually fucking hurt to do so.

* * *

It was just after lunch, and I had pretty much forgotten the whole Blair-Nate-nape-of-the-neck thing. The eager sopho-whore girl during study hall had helped. She had been wearing a headband, I remembered.

Suddenly, as if just thinking of her trademark accessory had conjured her up, Blair appeared down the hallway, flanked by a line of 5 or so minions, all wearing a variation of her same outfit.

Serena materialized from the girl's restroom and caught Blair's arm, making her fall behind the army of minions. She motioned for them to go ahead.

I moved a little closer, hoping to catch a little bit of their conversation.

"Listen Blair. I'm so sorry about how I've acted this past year. Can we pleaseget drinks or something? I really want to make it up to you," Serena said, with a pained look on her face. She had obviously tried this reconciliation speech before.

Blair regarded with a look of unmasked contempt. "Make up what? How you never called me to tell me you were moving to boarding school?"She sneered the last few words.

"I know. There was a lot going on then. I really am sorry, B. Maybe I can explain more?" Shit. Was Serena going to tell Blair? Blair would be furious. Blair would-she would relapse.

Blair contemplated, then shrugged. "I have a date with Nate after, so it'll just have to be one drink. But meet me at the Palace Bar at 7:30."

I caught Blair's eye, not masking the look of terror on my face. She looked at me, confused, then she rolled her eyes and continued down the hallway.

I had to make sure Serena didn't tell Blair. At least not before she sealed the deal with Nathaniel. I needed that.

* * *

I checked my watch. 7:45. More than enough time to stake out Blair and Serena's conversation, make sure Serena didn't tell Blair about her sexcapades, warn Serena once Blair had gone, and be on my merry way to bang one of the housekeepers. _Or better yet, two. _

But I only saw Serena at the bar, downing a martini. Not her first, from the looks of it.

Dammit. Where was Blair? Had Serena told her, making Blair leave in a fit of rage, never to talk to dear Nathaniel again?

I needed them to happen. Tonight. Then I could get over my silly...whatever it was...

As I was moving closer, I ran into Blair. She didn't look upset. Good. But I still had to find out if Serena had told her anything.

"Is Serena in there?" I asked her, as a way of starting the conversation. Because I could never let her know that I was looking for her.

Blair wrinkled her nose, looking grossed out. "Yes. Ugh, why?" Was she repulsed because of the way my voice caressed the word _Serena _or was it because she was pissed at her for telling her a certain something?

"What did you guys talk about?" I implored, probably looking way too eager.

"She apologized, of course. Asked how my mom is doing," she said flippantly. Because God forbid nobody apologize to Blair Waldorf. Her eyes narrowed a little. "Why?"

I chose to ignore her last question. The best defense was a good offense, wasn't it? Or did I have that backwards...whatever. "She didn't tell you why she left, right?"

"No." Blair sighed, as if she had been meaning to ask that question.

I let out a big breath that I didn't know I had been holding in. She must have heard it because she regarded me suspiciously. "You don't _know _why_, _right?" she asked, a little eager for a reason. What she didn't know was that she could never have that reason. Not where my plan was concerned.

Cover. Lie. "Of course not, I just have a feeling it might be something crazy, and you know how I like social destruction," I said smoothly, my voice in the same silken tone I used when I was talking to people in authority. Thank God I was a good liar. Nathaniel would have never been able to cover that one up.

Blair coughed, looking more than a little suspicious. She was always exceptionally good at reading my poker face. She stared at me for a second more and then shrugged. "While this conversation has been amusing, I've gotta meet your best friend for a date. I think tonight's the night."

She had played the right card. On one hand, I was happy-or, as close to happy as I could ever get. This...thing...with Blair was about to be over.

On the other, I felt a little like I had just gotten stabbed. Ditching me for Nathaniel? Of course, he was her boyfriend, but we both knew he had the charm of a cardboard box.

Chuck Bass couldn't be jealous. Never. But Chuck Bass was always lecherous. So I smirked and ran one hand along the side of my face, peering up at her slyly.

"Good. It was about time that our dearest Nathaniel deflowered you," I simpered.

She grit her teeth and looked impatient. "I'm leaving now. Goodbye, Bass." And with that, she strode out of the lobby, swaying sexily on her heels. Damn, that ass...

"Good luck tonight, Waldorf," I called after her as an afterthought. She looked back at me and smirked.

That woman was going to be the death of me if Nathaniel didn't claim her soon. I realized how much I needed luck tonight as well.

* * *

I needed a distraction.

And then I remembered poor little Serena, at the bar, alone. Lovely.

I strode toward her, pushing aside a group of women. They all didn't seem to mind, instead drinking up my looks with their eyes. I didn't have time for that tonight, though.

I sat down next to Serena, who had just received another martini.

I cleared my throat, looking her up and down. Not bad. "I love this town. I'm going to have to tell my father the hotel he just bought is serving _minors_." I smirked at her, even though she fully well knew that I had been getting drinks at hotel bars since I was twelve.

Serena raised her eyebrows. "And if you get a drink, they're also serving pigs." That was probably her one comeback that she had used countless times at boarding school.

I laughed. "I love it when you talk dirty." I placed a hand on her knee.

She slapped the hand away. "You just love when a girl talks to you," she said, looking at me sideways. I couldn't tell if she enjoyed this or hated it.

"Actually, I prefer them when they're not talking," I replied, letting the innuendo sink in fully.

Serena rolled her eyes. "Oh, I've missed your witty banter."

I smiled briefly. This was a good distraction. "Let's catch up. Take our clothes off, stare at each other."

Serena made a face. It was then I realized that she was unattainable too. She wasn't pure and virginal though. But one quality would have to be enough. Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all.

"What about I just get a bite to eat. I've been drinking on an empty stomach," she suggested.

I smirked. I knew people in the kitchen, hell, I knew everyone in the hotel. "I heard you didn't do that anymore," I said, fake-concerned.

Serena sighed, as if she was remembering why she was drinking so much. Her and Nate. And Blair finding out, of course. "Special occasion," she said wryly.

I offered my hand out to her. "Well, what about a grilled cheese with truffle oil?" I asked smoothly. "You do love truffles..." I trailed off, knowing I could make anything sound sexual.

Serena caught my tone and grimaced slightly. "Enough to know it's not on the menu," she replied.

I smirked, taking her hand and standing up. "Good thing I'm connected."

Serena took it gingerly, as if she could catch one of my rumored STDs by hand-holding. "Only because I'm hungry," she said, walking with me to the kitchen.

* * *

I slipped my head chef $200 and clapped him on the back.

"Alfonso, you're stud. Now have good night, we're closing the kitchen early." He looked slightly perplexed but as I motioned at Serena, his facial expression changed to one of knowing. I had encounters with women in many strange places, and the staff were well-versed in my ways.

As the workers were leaving, Serena made a voice of pure enjoyment. It made the back of my throat go dry. "Oh my god, this is so good!" she exclaimed.

I walked toward her. "Well, if you're looking for a way to thank me I've got a couple ideas." I made eye contact with her, dark brown meeting icy blue.

She rolled her eyes skyward. "It's a sandwich, Chuck," she barked.

I leaned in closer and felt the tip of my nose brush against her neck.

Serena backed away more into the wall. "This is... this is not happening right now," she said, trying to push me away.

I pulled back a little. Now was the perfect time. "You're worried Nate will find out?" I asked, a cocky smile on my face.

Serena froze. "What?" she asked, a look of pure horror on her face.

"Last year... the Sheperd wedding... think I don't know why you left town?" I searched her face for a look of recognition, but she only shook her head. Obviously in denial. I guess Nathaniel's skills in bed were so sub-par that Serena wanted to forget.

She tried to push me away, but I only got closer. "Best friend and the boyfriend. That's pretty classy, S. I think you're more like me than you admit," I said scornfully. Because the last person anyone wanted to be was Chuck Bass.

She shook her head again and again. "No. No. That...that was then. I'm trying to change!" she pleaded.

I shook my head. Wrong answer. "I liked you better before," I growled, then I leaned in for a kiss. I was going to attain the unattainable. Or, at least, the closest substitute. That would have to do.

But Serena kept turning away before my lips could meet hers. "Stop it!" she was saying, as forcefully as she could.

I sighed. My mind was ablaze. Why couldn't this be easier? I had never had any troubles getting any girl before. "Come on, Blair," I whispered in her ear.

Holy shit. Blair was not here. This was Serena. She pulled back, stunned, and I did the same. She used the lull to slap me, kick me in the crotch, and run out.

_Shit shit shit shit. _I was not referring to how I had tried to force myself on a girl I had known since kindergarten, or how my cheek and balls hurt like hell. I was referring to how I had called Serena Blair.

Because that was not supposed to slip out. I could only hope that the deed was already done with Nathaniel and de-virginized Blair would be much less attractive tomorrow.

I walked out of the kitchen, breezing by...Linty Boy? I gave him a death glare as I rode the elevator up to suite 1812.

As soon as I got upstairs, before I could even pour myself a scotch, my phone rang. It was the Waldorf's house number.

_Shit, could Blair have already found out about my slip-up? _Wasn't she supposed to be in post-coital bliss with Nathaniel?

I picked it up, curious.

"Mister Chuck!" Dorota's urgent voice called. Oh no. Whenever Dorota called, it was usually bad.

"You don't need to say anything, I'll be over there in ten," I said, putting my jacket back on and quickly summoning Arthur.

* * *

I was there in five.

I ran upstairs as soon as I got to her penthouse, not even bothering to acknowledge Dorota.

Blair was in a bad state. I usually never saw her when she wasn't prim and proper. But she was far from that tonight. She was dressed in a giant sweatshirt, her hair was matted and her eye makeup was running down her cheeks, and she was shoveling chocolates into her mouth and watching some kind of cliché romantic movie while curled up on her bed.

And I still felt my stomach flutter up when I saw her, even in this sorry state. I resisted the urge to tell her she still looked beautiful, because I knew it would make her think of Nathaniel. Obviously, he had told her about the Shepherd wedding, she had kicked him out, and then she had...

"Really, Waldorf? You relapsed?" I said, in slightly too harsh of a tone.

She flinched, obviously remembering my threat from yesterday. She nodded tentatively, the look on her face saying that she had already lost everything, so what was one more thing. And it was partially true-she had lost her boyfriend and her best friend in one fell swoop-but she hadn't lost everyone. She still had _me. _

So that's why I took off my wingtips and my jacket, loosened my tie, and climbed into bed with her. Granted, I wasn't crazy enough to cuddle up next to her, but Blair didn't even say a word. In fact, was it just me, or did she move infinitesimally closer to me? I sighed to the ceiling. So close, but so far away...

I cleared my throat and turned to her. "Listen, Blair, I'm so sorry that you had to find out. And trust me, I was just bluffing when I said what I was going to do if you relapsed. What I really want is you to be healthy."

She laughed harshly, as if she didn't believe it. "At least I still have my social standing, then." Her eyes had rolled up toward the ceiling. Tears were still running down her cheeks, and I resisted the urge to wipe one off her pretty little face. So I decided to join in her sad laughter as well. Blair would be comforted to know that I had a hellish night as well.

"Look at us, Waldorf," I remarked, gesturing at my bruised cheek and rumpled appearance. "Both so messed up."

Blair raised her eyebrows delicately, knowing I never admitted that I had screwed up. "What did you do?" she asked, the curiosity getting the best of her. She instantly looked a little better. Always one for gossip.

I sighed, hoping she wouldn't use this against me the next time against me the next time we ha done of our spats. I had a feeling she was going to like where this went, but for now, I would have to trust her. _Trust._

"Let's just say that I tried to put the moves on a girl who wouldn't have it. She really let me know, too." With that, my-well, my little _(or not so little)_ Chuck-recalled the painful kick it had received, and I grimaced.

Blair didn't look surprised. "Well, do I know her?" She asked, her voice returning from shaky and tearful to breezy and plotting. "Maybe I can help take her down for you?" She propped up on one elbow, facing me. She and I were always the best partners in crime.

I smirked. "Oh, you know her. And I have no doubt that even before I came over, you wanted to take her down." I didn't have to specify more, because I already knew that Blair had figured out her identity. Unlike the general denseness of Nathaniel and Serena, Blair and I could match wits with the best of them-and with each other.

She smiled and stayed on the bed with me for a few seconds too longer. I took in her bare legs and her proximity to me, and, for a moment, pretended that she actually was mine.

That moment was over when she stood up. "I feel so much better, Chuck. Thanks for coming," she told me in a quiet tone. I almost missed her hand she offered to me because I was still caught up in _her. _

I took it, not wanting to miss a chance for physical contact. "Wouldn't have missed it, Blair." I didn't call her by her last name, and that certainly didn't slip by her.

She coughed, hinting at the awkward tension in the room. I dropped her little hand abruptly, and smiled without showing any teeth. "This is my cue to leave. Tomorrow I'm giving Kati, Iz, and Nathaniel a ride to the party in my limo. Will you be joining?"

She agreed, although I saw her face fall at the mention of Nate.

"Bye Chuck," she called in that same quiet tone. It was if she didn't want the moment to end, although I knew in my subconscious that I should leave.

So I gave her a little bow and disappeared down the stairs. My thoughts were jumbled in my head.

Did I want her with Nathaniel? Or did I really not want this to be over...

* * *

Nathaniel was the first one I picked up in the limo.

As we passed a joint back and forth to loosen up before the party, I decided to broach the Blair subject.

"Now I know this might not be the best of news, but I invited Blair to ride in the limo with us tonight. She's the last one being picked up, so that is one plus. Wouldn't want any awkward tension between you and your ex."

Nate looked at me quizzically. "We broke up briefly...but how did you know?"

Oh, shit. Nathaniel was usually not this perceptive in a sober state, much less when he was stoned. I should have never said anything. But I had to cover. If he knew that I regularly frequented Blair's bedroom, even if it was for a reason other than what he thought, it would be all over.

"Well, I called her this morning to invite her to this little pre-party, and she mentioned something about how it would be a little awkward with you in the limo as well...I sort of read between the lines."

Nate looked like he believed it. Phew. "No worries, then. In fact, if you had called after lunch, all would have been resolved." He said it with a slightly bitter tone, as if he didn't really want to be taken back.

This was news to me. "You and Blair are back together?"

He nodded, shrugging. "We decided to put the past in the past...and, well, that was it. It was actually pretty easy."

It peeved me that Blair would just take Nathaniel back, even though he obviously didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve her, either, but she was an extremely strong girl-woman-and she needed to be treated like one.

I cleared my throat. "What, exactly, was the fight about?" I asked, because in Nate's eyes, I had no clue what had gone on at the Shepherd wedding.

Nate took a long drag of the joint and laid his head back on the leather seat. "It was last year, at the Shepherd wedding...me and Serena did something we shouldn't have. And then she left, and I felt like there was no reason to tell anybody else. But now that she's back, I just...can't stop thinking about her. Which I know is wrong, so I decided to tell Blair so it would go away. She flipped out last night, because she wanted to do...it. But we met for lunch, and she agreed to take him back if I had no contact with Serena."

It was my turn to take a drag. "Do you still like Serena?" I asked, distaste in my voice. He shouldn't be leading Blair on.

Nate shook his head in confusion. "I mean, I know that I should be with Blair. I love her. But Serena...I mean, look at her."

He held out his hand. I slapped it. "I know, brother," I agreed, but I couldn't hide the distaste in my voice. Sure, maybe I had tried something with her last night, but she really wasn't any contest to Blair.

I just hoped that Nathaniel wouldn't pick up on the way my eyes couldn't find his face.

* * *

Blair stepped into the limo last, looking every bit like a queen in a formfitting strapless black dress and the ubiquitous headband.

The back of my throat went dry. I needed a drink, fast.

"Blair, welcome to the party!" I called, hoping she didn't hear the way my voice cracked a little. Chuck Bass's voice never cracked.

She plopped right in between me and Nathaniel. A corner of her ass brushed my crotch as I moved to the side. _Holy fucking shit. _

As she looped her arm through Nate's, I playfully elbowed her, trying to scold her for the way she was sitting on my lap with her boyfriend right beside her.

Blair saw this and pulled out her Sidekick. She obviously thought the elbow was wondering about the status with her couple-dom with Nathaniel. I knew everything already, but I took out my phone as well.

My phone lit up. _N and I are back under one condition: S is dead to him. _Nothing I didn't know, but I still raised my eyebrows appreciatively. Whatever she had done to coerce Nate into not speaking to the Serena-slut was impressive.

"Looks like this is a cause for celebration!" I said loudly, giving Blair a little look. I took out a bottle of champagne and poured it into 5 glasses.

I took a drink before we even called cheers. That was how badly I needed it.

* * *

I eagerly scanned the party scene, looking for yet another distraction. Even the champagne and another joint had not extinguished this weird feeling in me.

My last resort was a girl. Especially one who displayed some or all of my favorite tendencies.

I was sitting at the bar with Kati and Iz flanking me (seriously, these girls would not leave my side), when I spotted her.

Yes, she was blonde. And tall. And utterly attainable. But she reeked of innocence. I would bet my inheritance that she hadn't even had her first kiss yet. She looked to be barely fifteen. She would have to do.

"Who's the newbie?" I asked the minions. I had seen her before at school, getting dismissed by Blair.

Kati looked in her direction and wrinkled her nose. "Jenny Humphrey. She's a _freshman,_" she said, pronouncing _freshman _like _a poor person._ Of course, freshmen girls held different credentials for upperclassmen boys than upperclassmen girls.

I smirked. "I love freshmen," I told them, waggling my eyebrows suggestively. "They're so..." I trailed off, knowing Iz would finish my statement.

"Fresh?" She asked.

I nodded. "Anything about her on Gossip Girl?" I asked, even though I probably already knew the answer.

They did a quick scan of their Sideckicks and shook their heads, confirming my suspicions.

"Not till you're done with her," Iz added. She thought she was so clever.

I decided I had enough of the two posers. So I walked up to Jenny confidently, twirling my scarf. She probably already knew who I was and would be flattered by my attention. This would be too easy.

She was swaying a little to the music, not really talking to anyone, when I appeared in the line of her vision. She looked surprised that I had even graced her with a look in her direction.

This was the perfect time to introduce myself. "Hi, I'm Chuck," I said in my signature drawl that made women drop their panties. She would be no exception.

Her eyes lit up. "I know! I mean, uh, hi, I'm Jenny."

I chuckled a little at her awkwardness. "It's nice to meet you," I said, playing nice. I held out my hand for her to shake.

She took it. "You too."

I didn't let go of her hand, my thumb tracing little patterns on her skin. She smiled at me a little. That was a good sign. "Thank you."

My phone chimed. _Looks like little J might end up with a new boy _and _a ticket to the inner circle. Or will C end up with another victim? Told you I love parties. _I had to act fast. Chances were she had no idea who Gossip Girl was, but if she thought that she was going to end up as another notch on my bedpost (which she was, figuratively of course), she would definitely not want anything to do with me.

"Let's go and talk somewhere more private," I told her, still holding her hand.

She looked flattered. "Okay."

I led her upstairs. This really was no work. At least she was virginal. That would have to do.

I stopped in the stairwell and pulled her into a full embrace, smelling the nape of her neck.

She pulled away a little. "I mean, this is definitely quieter. But do you have any idea where you're going or..."

Her voice trailed off as I leaned in to kiss her on the mouth. She pulled away, visibly scared.

She cleared her throat. "So, you said you wanted to talk. Uh, what do you want to talk about?"

I looked at her with a smoldering fire in my gaze. "How into you I am," I replied half-honestly. Then I kissed her.

Yes, it was most definitely was her first kiss. I liked girls who played innocent but were actually vixens begging to be let out. But this girl, she was innocent through and through, and it turned me off a little. But I couldn't very well just let her go with a kiss, now that I had gone to so much trouble...

She pulled away. I would have to try a little harder. "Okay, I'm sorry. If you don't want to do anything, that's cool. Let's start over."

She looked like she believed me but she was still unsure. "Can we start over back at the party?"

I tried my best to look heartbroken, even though I didn't know what that felt like. I pulled out the bottle of Dom I had stashed for an occasion like this from a cabinet. "Uh...have a glass of champagne? Please?"

I pulled my best puppy-dog look. "Maybe one," she agreed.

While I was pouring, I noticed her slip her cell phone back into her pocket. I narrowed her eyes. Probably just bragging about how she's with me right now, I decided.

One...or three...glasses later, after she had tried to tell me all about how this was her first party and her brother Dave or something was going to get her soon, I decided that it was time to take this to the next level.

"Why don't you come up to the roof with me? It's a really pretty view."

She agreed, and even didn't say anything when I put my hand on her ass 'to steady her' as she was climbing the stairs. I loved rooftops.

As soon as we got to the top, I removed my scarf. I didn't want it to blow away in the wind as I was in a...compromising position.

"It's a beautiful view," she said, a little unsteadily. Still scared.

I placed my hands on either side of her face, so all she could look at was me. "But not nearly as beautiful as you."

And I kissed her again, guiding her to a wall. After a few minutes, she started resisting.

_Come on, Waldorf, _I thought. Was it really that hard to attain the unattainable?

But then I realized that this was not Blair Waldorf. This was Jenny Humphrey. I would never force myself on Blair like this. But we had gone this far, and Chuck Bass didn't get to second base without completing the home run.

So I took her small hands and held them above her head.

Now she was really squirming. "Get off! Stop!" she yelled, but I had gone deaf to her cries.

So I didn't recognize Serena's voice from the stairwell, or the other boy.

"Hey, Jenny!"

"Chuck! Get off of her!"

I stepped away from Jenny. This was getting a little too out of hand.

But it wasn't over. Jenny ran to Serena, who hugged her and led her down the stairs. Since when did they become close? And Serena wasn't even invited.

Then Linty Boy got in my face. "You son of a...!" he yelled at me, stopping before he even said _bitch. _Guess he was too coward.

I pushed him away. "What the hell is your problem? It's a party, things happen." I looked Linty up and down critically. Not good. What _was _his real name? "Who _are_ you, anyways?"

I looks could kill, I would be dead. If I was anyone other than the unshakable Chuck Bass, who never admitted that he went way out of line. "How many time do I have to tell you? I'm in your class! My name is Dan Humphrey! And that-" he held my arms back "-is my _little sister!_"

And then he punched me. He motherfucking sucker-punched me. My nose was bleeding and I was sure as hell that I would have a black eye the next morning. A fucking black eye.

Serena was back and leading me out. Jenny was still lingering in the stairwell. "Come on, let's go. Don't ever touch her again, Chuck!" I had no idea why she cared about this pathetic freshman or why she was hanging around Humphrey, but all I know that all of them would regret this.

I locked eyes with Jenny. She looked terrified. Good. "Hey, your life is _over, _slut! Don't forget: I know _everything!_"

I was going to fucking make good on my promise. I just needed a scheme. And nobody was better at scheming than the one and only.

* * *

I followed the three losers down the stairs after a few minutes and emerged outside in time to see them pile in a cab.

The girl I was looking for was standing on the stairs, watching them with a sinister expression on her face.

I wiped the blood from my face with my scarf (yet another reason it had to be laundered stat) and came up behind her.

She looked back briefly at me. "She better not show her face again," she told me, eyes narrowing as the taxi pulled away. She was obviously referring to two-timing Serena and her attempts to seduce Nathaniel.

I focused on the cab as well, then let out a mad breath. "I'm actually hoping she will."

We made eye contact, both our expressions one of pure hatred and revenge.

Taking Serena and the Humphrey family would be destructive. But I had the one person I trusted with this business by my side.

This really was a beautiful friendship. Hopefully, I could wipe those offending thoughts, of how I really wanted it to be more than friendship, out of my head.

* * *

**_So that's it! Hope you enjoyed! Next comes Blair's view of 1x02, the Wild Brunch... ;)_**

**_xoxo, L_**


	3. The Wild Brunch: Blair's POV

**The Wild Brunch: Blair's POV**

_Chime. _The Gossip Girl alert woke me up at the ungodly hour of 9:30 AM. I sat up to read it and felt my head pound. Ugh, I only had this severe of a hangover when I was seriously annoyed at something-or some_one. _

That's right. The little slut, Serena, and her ew-inducing sidekicks, the Humphrey clan. And Nate, falling all over Serena. Had we ever properly made up?

And then scheming with Chuck. Oddly, the best parts of my night had Chuck in it. The limo ride, and then our pact we made as we were watching the Three Musketeers leave for the outer boroughs. We were going to take them down. And that thought made me elated, almost as much as the thought of winning back Nate.

I took a sip of the Evian I kept beside my bed and read the alert, trying to ignore the spinning inside my head.

_I bet you're wondering what Gossip Girl is doing up so early. Truth is: I never went to bed. Why waste precious time dreaming when waking life is so much better? _

_Is there really anything better than a lazy sunday? Reading the paper in bed, sipping coffee, scrambling an egg or two. Yeah, right. We Upper East Siders don't do lazy: Breakfast is brunch and it comes with champagne, a dress code and a hundred of our closest friends... and enemies. _

_Chuck's dad Bart Bass is hosting the annual brunch for his foundation. Everyone is invited. Well, not _everyone_. _

I chuckled when I read the last part. At least Gossip Girl was against the Humphreys and Serena as well. I hoped that skank wouldn't show her face today at brunch. But, I had to say, I was looking forward to what Chuck would do to her...

I had to shake these thoughts about Chuck out of my head. They were starting to become more frequent than thoughts of Nate.

I got up out of bed and padded to the little mannequin Daddy had brought back from France.

Eleanor had put an outfit on it, along with a Post-It note. _Went to Paris. Brunch is at 2. Wear pearls!_

I sighed. Only Eleanor-I refused to call her 'Mom'-could tell her own daughter that she was leaving to a foreign country for who-knows-how-long on a Post-It note.

The dress was so not my taste. It was one of her designs, and it had 'elegant' written all over it. It was way too blue, and the silk would make my legs look humongous. _Not wearing that. _

I put on my robe and sauntered downstairs. Dorota had laid out some waffles with whipped cream and berries-my favorite. I decided I shouldn't eat anything, though-I was bound to drink my calories at brunch and I still needed to be in tip-top shape in case me and Nate got around to doing anything.

I still thanked her, nonetheless. My minions were already there, helping themselves to the spread. They were also looking at Gossip Girl and talking about the S-slut in hushed tones.

I cleared my throat, announcing my presence. The whispered died down. "Serena had better just stay away," I decreed. Kati and Iz nodded dutifully. "I don't want to see her at school and she better not show up at brunch today."

They rushed to my side, seeing my murderous expression that even thoughts of Serena had conjured up. "You're really mad at Serena," Kati said stupidly, pathetically trying to get me to dish.

Iz took my arm. "I hope you never get that mad at us." Ugh, what a kissup. That's what minions are for, I guess.

I smiled at both of them, placating them. "Well, you would never do what Serena did," I simpered.

They exchanged a look of confusion, mumbling _never _and _of course not. _They had no idea. The only person who knew other than the two offenders was Chuck, and of course, Chuck wouldn't ruin me by telling anyone...

Chuck again. Why had he slipped into my thoughts?

I shook my head. "I wonder if Nate remembered brunch," I said, plastering a dreamy smile on my face. "It would be so wrong to show up without my boyfriend who I love...and who loves me." I tried to ignore the pang as I thought about how Nate had cheated. If he really loved me, would he have let Serena take his virginity? It was a dismal thought. She deserved what was coming to her.

Kati and Iz tripped over themselves to dial Nate's number for me and hold the phone to my ear. I snatched my Sidekick out of their hands. If Nate mentioned what happened in front of the minions...well, they really couldn't keep their mouths shut.

After a few rings, Nate picked up. I could hear a few sleepy groans in the background. He had probably slept over at the Palace, like he normally did after parties.

Nate cleared his throat. "Hello?" he asked sleepily. He probably hadn't even bothered to look at the Caller ID.

"Hi sweety! Did I wake you?" I asked, purposely trying to sound as peppy as possible. I couldn't let the minions know there was anything up between me and Nate, and if my tone was anything less than ecstatic, they would ask questions. I was the best schemer around, but I had to admit that I was a pretty bad liar.

I heard rustling on the other line, as if Nate was just standing up. "No, I'm up," he said, sounding defensive.

I rolled my eyes playfully at Kati and Iz. They knew of Nate's lack of brainpower. "Well, get some strong coffee and hop in the shower, sleepyhead! Chuck's dad's brunch for his foundation is today at the Palace." Why did the world seem to revolve around Chuck?

"Uh, great. Of course." Nate replied, then I heard the line go dead. What happened to exchanging I love yous before we hung up? A little voice told me this was the beginning of the end, but I squashed it.

"I love you too, honey," I spoke into the dead line, then turned to the minions cheerfully.

"Nate was up. He was at the Palace, and he and Chuck are getting ready right now."

Kati and Iz looked interested at the mention of Chuck. "Did you hear what he did to Jenny Humphrey?" Kati asked.

"Serena came to rescue her, then that guy she was with punched him!" Iz finished.

I rolled my eyes. I didn't need a recap. "Well, Chuck and I are taking care of it. If Serena or the Humphrey family ever shows their face at one of our events ever again, they are dead meat," I declared.

Just then, my phone started buzzing. Speak of the She-Devil.

"Ooh, it's Serena!" the minions exclaimed, reading the screen.

I made a face and let it ring. I deleted the voicemail for good measure, too, without bothering to read it.

"Now, ladies. Tell me about _your _evenings last night." I was not in the mood to hear anything more about Nate, Chuck, the Humphreys, and least of all Serena.

As they prattled on about their little crushes and endless supply of meaningless drama, my thoughts drifted to Chuck once again.

Why was he the only one who cared enough to deal with my relapse? If I had called Nate in a panic, he would have just told me to feel better and have brought over a box of chocolates the next day. Chuck, on the other hand, had come over, reassured me, and even _climbed into bed with me_ until I was okay. No sex, not even any touching. He was like a different person. Huh.

Why was Chuck a good guy around me? It wasn't because he had known me forever. He had known Serena for even longer, and he had tried to force himself on her the other night. Something just didn't add up.

Ugh, this was too much. I needed to brood in private. "Kati, Iz, you are dismissed," I told them. They headed toward the elevator but stopped dead when they saw the flash of blonde hair walking out.

"Blair, hey!" A sunny voice trilled.

"Uh...Blair?" Kati called.

"Do you need reinforcements?" Iz hissed.

I shook my head. "I think I'm capable of talking to my ex-best friend without any help. Leave, ladies."

And then I turned to Serena with a stony look on my face. "Serena." No emotion. She didn't deserve to know how much I had stressed over her.

Her smile faltered a little, but brightened up again to blinding level as she reached in her bag and produced a bag from Dean & Deluca and a DVD of Breakfast at Tiffany's.

"I got two baguettes and an Audrey!" she exclaimed, my indifferent expression failing to put a damper on her sunny mood.

But I would sure as hell try to turn her smile upside down. I tapped my chin indifferently. "I must have totally blanked on the part where I invited you over..." I trailed off, my eyes wide and innocent.

Serena looked confused. "I-I called you. Blair, it's Sunday morning: coffee, croissants, 'Breakfast at Tiffany's.' It's our tradition." She was starting to get sadder.

I rolled my eyes, deciding not to mention that she had not brought coffee or croissants. "I have new traditions now," I huffed.

Now it was Serena's turn to roll her eyes. "They're not traditions if they're new," she said, her jaw beginning to jut out and her weight shifting over to one hip. That was her 'annoyed' stance.

I ignored her, sitting down with the Post. Page Six had posted a picture of the Kiss on the Lips party, along with an inset of...Serena and Jenny? Gawd, this bitch had to go.

Serena sighed. "Look, Blair, I'm _really _trying to make an effort here. I thought everything was good between us!" Her blue eyes were becoming rounder and I knew she was getting upset.

I looked at her like she was a dumb child. "It was. _Before _I found out you had _sex _with my _boyfriend_." My voice broke a little at the mention of Nate. I cursed myself.

Serena obviously had not found out that I knew. Her mouth was open and her eyes were bugging out. I looked at her, waiting for something. An explanation, perhaps? And definitely an apology. "H-how did you find out?" she asked instead.

I let out a pent-up breath. Of all the things she could have said. Did it really matter? "Nate told me. At least _he _felt like he owed it to me to tell me the _truth._" I made my words as stinging as possible.

"I...don't know what to say," Serena said, looking at the ground. _How about I'm sorry?_

I snorted. "Don't bother saying anything. I wouldn't believe you anyways."

Serena held her hands up, trying to get me to stop. "Blair, it was...!"

_Great comeback, Serena. Score one for the blondes. _"You know. I always knew you're a whore. I just never took you for a liar, too." I smiled at her cruelly, letting her know that I had, and always would have, the upper hand.

"Blair, how can I fix this?" Serena whispered. I think I saw a tear roll down her cheek.

Well, too bad. The bitch had already cost me too many tears. "You don't Serena. You just stay away from me, my boyfriend, and my friends. You're done here."

And then I walked away, leaving her in the hallway, alone. Of course she didn't know what me and Chuck were plotting, but she should stay away from us in the process.

_Serena's visit was short, and apparently not very sweet, but you know what is? Revenge. We hear it's best served cold. You hungry?_

Once again, Gossip Girl was always right on.

* * *

I was lying on the couch, trying to contemplate what Chuck and I should do to ruin Serena, when the elevator dinged.

"Dorota, I told you I don't want to see anyone!" I yelled at my maid.

I got up to see who it was. It better not be Serena, and I wasn't really in the mood for Nate. Could it be Chuck, with a plan? My heart skipped a beat. Huh. Weird.

But instead, it was little Jenny Humphrey. _So_ not the person I wanted to see. I actually despised the little freshman. On top of being an annoying kiss-up freshman, her brother was the living scum of the earth and had punched Chuck! Nobody punches Chuck Bass and gets away with it.

But I had to find out anything damaging Jenny knew about her brother. I owed it to my partner-in-crime.

So I plastered a fake-looking smile on my face. "Hey...Jenny." I said, managing to sound unexcited, but not (overly) mean.

"Hi," Jenny said timidly.

I rolled my eyes. She was so uncool. "What do you want?" I asked, getting to the point. I would not be caught dead in a chit-chatty conversation with a Humphrey.

She panicked. Obviously unprepared. "Uh...I realized that I still have your...calligraphy pens from the party invitations...and I thought you might need them for...something." Her face was all scrunched up as she said it. What a horrible liar.

"That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. You wanna know what Chuck Bass is saying about you," I said, my face curving into a smile. Since when did I get all smiley over Chuck and one of his freshman victims?

"No!" Jenny said, defensively. Then she saw my smirk. "Is he? Saying things? Is anyone?" she looked a little panicked. I loved to play with the emotions of the underclassmen.

I dismissed her thought with a snort. "Humph. No. Not _yet, _anyways. Chuck likes to brag about his conquests, not his victims." Then an idea came to me. "Come, you can help me get ready for brunch."  
Jenny looked happy. "Okay! Sure!"

_Let the Dan questionnaire begin. _

* * *

After we had gotten up to my room (she had actually stopped to comment on an arrangement of hydrangeas, for God's sakes), she urged me to try on my mom's dress.

I was right, it looked ugly. But Jenny, ever the kiss-up, was hell-bent on complimenting everything. "Wow, Blair! It's beautiful! I mean, you look beautiful!"

I rolled my eyes at her naivety. "It's average at best. The collar is _so _last season. Besides, Stella McCartney's got a much better version at Bergdorf's."

I gauged her reaction to the designer name-dropping. It was now common knowledge that the Humphreys lived in Brooklyn, which meant poor. Jenny's eyes were downcast. "Right...I've been meaning to go by Bergdorf's." She laughed nervously. This girl was a worse liar than Serena.

She randomly walked over to the chest at the foot of my bed and picked up a doll that was lying on it. "Wow, these dolls are great!" What a weird compliment. "Oh my God, you've got a Cabbage Patch! My brother has one of these. His name was Cedric."

Good, we were finally getting somewhere. I looked at her quizzically. "Your brother's name is Cedric?" Obviously, I knew who Dan Humphrey was-and hated him because Chuck hated him-but she didn't have to know that. It would make her close up the gossip font, and we were just getting somewhere.

Jenny laughed nervously, not sure if I was being serious or making fun of her. "No. That was his Cabbage Patch Kid. My brother's name is Dan. Actually, you might know him-he, uh, went out with Serena last night."

Double ew. Dan played with creepy little dolls and Jenny had mentioned the S word. Not to mention how hopeful her face got when she mentioned Serena, as if she was this perfect angel who had saved her from the grasps of the evil Chuck Bass. It was totally the other way around. Sure, Chuck was the devil's spawn, but he would never dare hurt me. Serena, on the other hand...

I feigned more ignorance. "_That _was your brother? So does that mean you're _friends _with Serena now?" I waited to hear what she would say. All my biases aside, Serena would never be 'friends' with a freshman from Brooklyn-or _anyone _from Brooklyn, for that matter.

Jenny stalled, knowing that me and Serena were on the outs. "I mean, I don't have a _problem _with her...but if someone _did _have a problem with her...I wouldn't have a problem with that, either."

That was a reasonably sane answer. Time for the bribe. "You know...if you like that dress...you can have it." Let some nobody wear it, I didn't care what happened to that piece of crap.

Jenny looked shocked. "What? No, no!" she told me, but I knew she really wanted the dress.

I smiled like the Cheshire cat. "I'm sure you'll find _some way _to repay me," I said, making it clear that what I wanted was the dirt on Serena and Cabbage Patch.

Her eyes were wide as she took the dress. "Wow, Blair, thank you! I mean, for the dress and also for the other thing...about Chuck." She lowered her voice conspiratorially for the last part. Ugh, when would these girls get over themselves? Chuck probably didn't give two shits about Jenny.

I toyed with the silk of the dress. "If you want to be part of this world, Jenny, people will talk, eventually. And you need to decide whether all of this-" I gestured to the opulence of my bedroom and out the window, to the Upper East Side beyond-"is worth it."

Jenny nodded. "I really do want to be a part of it," she said, eagerly.

I rested my hands on my chin. "I would be happy to take you under my wing, for one thing."

Her blue eyes were wide. "Just tell me and it's done."

"Find out anything about Serena you can. If you catch her even _looking _in Nate's direction-report back to me."

Jenny nodded again. "Done deal."

She got up to leave, but I stopped her. "And Jenny? You probably won't like this very much, given last night...but keep an eye on Chuck, too? I don't want him talking to that slut either."

Jenny gulped. "Okay..."

I smiled. "You're dismissed."

Once she had left, I placed my head in my hands. _Why _had I included Chuck? I didn't need daily reports on his conquests. And I was totally sure that he wouldn't go double-agent on me-he had been rejected by Serena, too.

Jenny would see that as a jealous girlfriend move. _Shit. _Because I wasn't jealous of Chuck Bass's whores...right?

* * *

Half an hour later, and it was time to go to the Palace. I had decided on a new dress of mine that was _not _an Eleanor Waldorf. It was long-sleeved white eyelet and totally my kind of dress. I paired it with a headband and tights, of course, and pearl bracelets so I could tell Eleanor that I had taken her advice.

I arrived a little bit late. I didn't believe in the term _fashionably late_, because punctual was always fashionable, at least in my book. But I was late enough that Nate, Chuck, Kati, and Iz were already seated at my table.

Nate looked cute, in a disheveled way. But my gaze went to Chuck right away. Because he had a black eye. Wow. That Dan boy must have really punched him hard. Either that, or Chuck's skin didn't have enough pigment in it to hide the bruise.

The Humphreys really needed to go down. Like yesterday.

I sat down in between Chuck and Nate, noticing happily that the table was only set for five. No room for Serena here.

I laced my fingers through Nate's, and turned to Chuck, raising my eyebrows with concern. "Black eye, huh? You know, I probably have some concealer in my clutch if you want to borrow-"

He cut me off with his hand. "No thanks, Mom," he sneered. "I'd rather just get Humdrum Humphrey back. He was loitering around this morning in the lobby like a psycho stalker."

Nate was beginning to look uncomfortable, ever the nice one. "Well, little Jenny stopped by, and I think I convinced her to be my newest info source."

Chuck grinned. "Find out anything of interest?"

I nodded. "I heard that Dan still has a Cabbage Patch doll."

Kati and Iz snorted. Chuck rolled his eyes. "We'll have to get more. I doubt we can do real destruction with that, but on that optimistic note, cheers everyone!"

We all clinked glasses, mimosas for everyone except Chuck, who was drinking scotch like an old man.

I had just taken my first sip-mmm, in the best drinks you couldn't taste the alcohol-when I spotted a flash of blonde hair. _Shit._

It was Serena. Along with Dan Humphrey. They both looked extremely uncomfortable. Good.

I shook my head in disbelief. "You have _got _to be kidding," I said to the table, suppressing an angry laugh and gesturing to the couple in the doorway.

Chuck spotted them first and his eyes narrowed. His eyes slid to me, and he lightly kicked me under the table. "This should be fun," he said sarcastically.

Dan and Serena had no idea what they were in for. Because when Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass teamed up, our enemies were good as dead.

Fun, indeed.

* * *

I had not been able to break away from the stream of adults who wanted to talk to me, and scheme with Chuck, but I guess it was okay that the Captain and I were chatting. After all, he would be my father-in-law sooner or later (hopefully sooner).

"And you look beautiful, as always." I smiled. Next he was going to mention how much Nate had been talking about me, and after that there would be a mention of the Vanderbilt ring...

"Where's your lovely mother today?" My face fell a little bit. Not on the script. What did he want with Eleanor?

I waved my hands noncommittally. "Paris. Must be some drama at the atelier," I explained and smiled like my mother's fashion empire was nothing but middle-school drama.

The Captain nodded politely. "Nothing too dramatic, I hope. Her line is doing very well...I was just telling my firm what a great investment she'd make. She's really going places."

Suddenly, it dawned on me. The Captain wasn't talking to me because I was his future daughter-in-law, he just wanted me to spread the word to Eleanor! God, I hated when people did that. "Hopefully places far, _far, _away!" I said brightly.

He looked confused. "Just kidding!" I added, then saw Nate approaching. Thank God.

Nate took my empty glass. Huh, I must have downed it somewhere between Mr. Shafai and Bart Bass (that man was seriously scary). "I'll get you a refill. Be right back," said Nate's reassuring deep voice.

I turned to the Captain with a smile, ready to resume conversation, hopefully about Nate's loving intentions. But he just mumbled something and took off with Nate, putting his arm around his son and talking to him seriously. Nate looked a little upset. Wonder what that was about? Certainly not about me...

* * *

Nate was shaking hands with a man clad in an expensive-looking grey suit when Chuck came up behind me. Finally. The scheming was overdue.

"I can't believe Serena came to this brunch," I spat at Chuck. "I told her to _stay away," _I stressed.

Chuck smiled tightly. "You worried about Nate?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow.

I nodded. "Just a shot in the dark," he continued. "I think I know what you need to do to get his attention," he said, handing me an old-time key.

I cocked my head. "And what's that?" I asked, amused. Surely this key wouldn't get Serena and Dan to leave.

He grinned lasciviously. "A key to my suite, Nate's heart...and your future happiness," he drawled, still holding it out.

I took it, rolling my eyes.

He was smirking like to Cheshire cat. "I'm honored to be playing even a _small _role in your deflowering."

Ugh, this is why I tried to ignore Chuck as much as possible unless we had someone to take down. Why did he take so much interest in the status of my V-card? "You're disgusting."

The grin widened, making him look even more lewd. "Yes, I am, so why be shy?" he said proudly.

He spun me around in the direction of Nate and the businessman, who were finishing their conversation. "Just grab Nate and finish this. Report back with details."

I rolled my eyes-like I would ever tell _him _details of my sex with his best friend-but sashayed over to Nate.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Good," Nate was finishing.

I crept up behind him and wrapped my arms around his buff torso. He looked back in surprise. "What are you doing right now?" I asked him, trying to sound seductive.

Nate's face got a little red as he stammered. "Well, I was just gonna..." he trailed off as I planted a kiss just below his jaw.

"How about me?" I purred.

Nate shifted from one foot to the other. Poor him, probably seduced by my prowess. "Um..."

I smirked. "Do you have a better offer?" I asked him, amused. If this was about Serena, I swear...

Nate shook his head violently. "No, of course not!" he promised. Thank God.

I continued the kisses. "Yeah?" I asked him breathily.

"Now?" Nate asked, getting turned on.

"Now, now," I said, pulling him into the elevator.

I should have had eyes only for Nate, but I couldn't help but catch a glimpse of Chuck standing behind us, watching us with a tortured look on his face. Huh?

* * *

I kept kissing Nate, trying to ignore the way Chuck's face flashed before my eyes, even when they were closed. It _so _was not normal to see your boyfriend's best friend when you were kissing, especially when you were about to do the deed. But then again, nothing in my life was normal these days.

I shut my eyes tighter, imagining white picket fences and my three children and Nate and I sitting on rocking chairs as old people. But Chuck's face loomed in once more. It was just that he looked...distraught. _Heartbroken? _

Okay, what the fuck. Chuck was the one who handed us the key. There was no way in hell he would be remorseful. I was just spending too much time with the Basshole.

As we were riding up the elevator, still intertwined, Nate broke away from the kiss. "Where are we going?" he asked breathlessly. Almost with a little bit of concern.

I smiled. "I got us the best room in the entire place," I gasped, and went right back to planting kisses everywhere.

Nate looked pleased, and started grasping strands of my hair. Ick, I hated that.

The elevator opened right into suite 1812. Nate was leading me to Chuck's bed when all of a sudden, he stopped cold. "Wait, this is Chuck's room," he said in realization.

Uh, duh? Didn't he infer that already? He must have been drunk off my kisses.

Nate was staring straight ahead at the little ottoman off the bed. I turned to see what he was looking at.

Serena sat there with a panicked look on her face. "Nate..." she started.

_Oh fuck no. The skanky bitch, slut, WHORE! _

"Serena," I said, trying to infuse my voice with as much venom as I could. I took a big step away from Nate and Serena. The two-timing son-Nate-and daughter-Serena-of a bitch.

"Blair!" Serena pleaded. Nuh uh. No way was I having her petty explanation. _I was just waiting for Chuck! _Yeah, right.

"What is _she _doing here?" I demanded, turning to Nate. I was pissed. Not to mention horny. Serena had ruined our past three attempts to do it. Fuck, I would have been de-virginized like, a week ago, if her ass was still at boarding school. Why _did_ she come back? Did she just want to ruin my everything?

"I was waiting for Nate," Serena pleaded, eyes wide. Pssh. Like that helped her case at all.

I whipped my head around to my boyfriend. It better not be what I thought it was-"It was just to talk. I swear!" Nate said. He really did not have a good poker face.

"You said you'd never speak to her again!" I hissed. Whatever Nate or Serena would say, there would be something wrong with it. They were not getting off scot-free with this one. Chuck and I would make them _pay. _Why did that make me a little giddy?

Serena looked at me like she had been shot. "You said that?" she asked, her voice full of hurt. Good. "Why would you say that?"

My voice rose. I was angry. Didn't Nate remember any of our sushi chat? "Because you can't be trusted!" I shouted, gesturing to her in Chuck's suite, at the exact same time Nate and I were supposed to do it.

Nate spoke up. "It's not Serena's fault," he said earnestly. Un-fucking-believable. He really did want Serena over me.

"Do not defend her!" I screamed, seeing red. Nate would probably sleep with the bitch again if he had the chance.

"I asked her to come," Nate persisted, holding up his hands like that made him innocent. Wrong.

"Oh. So you _do _want to talk to her," I exclaimed, giving Nate a triumphant look. There was no way he could win this argument.

"Yes...to explain...to explain why I'm _not _talking to her," he finished lamely, sticking his hands into his pockets and staring at the ground. If Chuck was here we would argue these losers into the ground. Where was he when I needed him?

"Maybe I'll leave you two to your _fascinating _conversation," I challenged. I needed to pull Chuck away from his whores. This was urgent.

Serena found her voice. "No!" she exclaimed, sounding crazier by the second. "I'll go! Let you guys get back to your quickie," she finished triumphantly. That insult probably took her the entire argument to formulate.

"It wasn't a quickie," I explained to Serena, as if she was an eight-year-old. "Sex is _actually _a big deal to some of us." _Cough-cough, slut. _

Serena just raised her eyebrows, unhurt. "Oh, yeah, I can see that. Chuck's bed? Very romantic. Classy, too." Hmm. Valid point. Who knows when he had washed the sheets...but still. I hated this girl in front of me.

"Oh, like you. I bet your new friend Dan would _love_ to hear all about how _classy _you are." Perfect ending argument. Now I just needed to find Chuck and then tell Humphrey, and then Serena's life would be over. Just like that.

"Dan?" Serena asked, confused. But I was already in the elevator.

* * *

Where the fuck was he? Trust Chuck to have disappeared when I needed his help the most.

_Okay, think like the Basstard. _

Rooftops. He loved them.

I was right. As soon as I had gotten to the roof, I spotted Chuck and a girl making out furiously.

I tried to clear my throat, but neither of them had seen me yet. The girl wasn't half bad. Brunette curls, bow in her hair, colorful tights with her dress...

She was pretty much a carbon copy of me. Not the original, of course. But still, it was weird. I had thought Chuck's type was blondes...and this girl, whoever she was, was eerily similar to me.

They had to stop, because we had to find Dan.

I went right up to them and snapped my fingers in front of their faces. They broke apart, dazed. The girl even had brown eyes. _The fuck?_

Chuck looked stunned. "Waldorf?" he asked, dazed.

"Bass. Hate to interrupt your...whatever," I said, dismissing the mini-me, "but we have a situation."

Chuck pushed away the girl, who made a noise of indignation. "Normally, I would say you're a cock-blocking bitch, but I suspect this has something to do with van der Woodsen?" he drawled. Damn, his voice was sexy. He looked like a good kisser too...wait, what the fuck was I saying? I was just horny because Nate and I hadn't done it. Right?

I shook my head to clear the offending thoughts away, and then nodded for his sake. "And Humphrey. We need to find him."

Chuck made a face. "Why would I want to find Brooklyn? He's probably home, cuddling his Cabbage Patch doll by now."

"If he's here, we need to find him and tell him what Serena did with Nate last year. He'll break up with her for sure."

Chuck's face slowly spread into a smile. "Then both of their hearts will be broken, and we'll never have to deal with the Humphreys in our world again."

Well, they went to our school, but close enough. They would be more easily avoided.

"You sure you don't need to...finish up?" I asked him, wrinkling my nose and gesturing to my wannabe.

He shook his head. "We were done. I'll look for Humphrey."

I smiled. "Good boy, Bass. If you find him, bring him to me."

He smirked sarcastically. "Will do, queen Waldorf." And then he sauntered for the elevator.

When he had left, I looked over at a dejected mini-me. She smiled. I scowled at her.

"What's your name?" I asked suspiciously.

"Claire," the girl said. This was beyond weird.

I narrowed my eyes. "Well, _Claire, _you are dismissed. For good. Everyone knows that once Chuck Bass has sex with you, it will never happen again."

Claire furrowed her brow. "But we didn't," she muttered. "He stopped kissing me as soon as you came up. We hadn't even got past second base."

Interesting indeed. But she was still irrelevant nonetheless. I gave her a parting glance and left down the other elevator.

Chuck Bass never stopped having sex. What was it about me?

And why did my stomach feel like it was going down a roller-coaster?

* * *

I found Dan standing in the lobby as soon as I had gotten off the elevator. Obviously Chuck had not gotten to him. But Nate and Serena were nowhere in sight. That was good. Unless, of course, they were up in Chuck's suite doing...ugh. Not to be thought about.

I plastered a huge smile on my face, the same one as I had worn when I was speaking with Jenny. I would have to name this fake smile the Humphrey Special.

"Dan? Hi. I'm Blair Waldorf. Serena's friend." My lips curled disgustedly around the word _friend, _but I hoped he hadn't noticed.

Dan looked surprised. Serena probably hadn't mentioned me. Which meant she probably hadn't mentioned Nate. Which meant that he was in for the shock of his life. "Oh, hey," he said, finally acknowledging me. "Do you happen to know where she is?"

Did I ever. Up in Chuck's suite, screwing my boyfriend. The smile widened to scary proportions. "As a matter of fact, I do."

Just before I could tell him, Serena and Nate ran in, breathless. "Blair!" Serena called.

Dan looked relieved. "Serena, there you are."

"Hi!" Serena directed at him, eyes bright. She probably thought she could lead him away and she would get off scot-free. Not so fast.

"Where were you?" he asked. Perfect.

Before Serena could get a word in, I answered for her. "She was waiting in a hotel room for _my _boyfriend," I said coldly.

Dan looked a little shocked. Serena butted in before he could say anything like the little attention-whore she was. "To talk!" she yelled, glaring at me.

Nate thought this was an appropriate time to add something. "About why we weren't talking."

Wow. Really made that more clear. It was hard to be mad at my boyfriend because he was so adorably clueless. "That doesn't sound _any _smarter the second time," I pointed out, leaving both blondes dumbstruck and Humphrey still wanting answers.

He decided to fire off the questions like a reporter. "Why weren't you talking? Does this have anything to do with why you were waiting for Serena this morning?" he asked, directing the question at Nate.

This was news. "You were _what?_" I asked. Dammit, why did Serena just have to go and _steal _Nate away with her flashy blondeness?

Before Nate could defend himself or I could go into a rant, Chuck strolled in, looking like he just came back from a relaxing spa trip...minus the black eye. Why was Chuck always so unattached from all these situations? Damn him, he got all the fun of social destruction with no personal ties severed. "And here I thought you were waiting for me," he drawled smoothly, cocking an eyebrow at the scene around him and exchanging a pointed glance with me.

Dan snorted. "Oh, exactly what this situation needs. Chuck," he said sarcastically.

Chuck tensed. Dan continued, still looking confused. "Now what exactly is _going on _here?" he asked slowly.

I smiled tightly at Chuck. He smirked back. This was one of our favorite pastimes. "We were just getting to that," I said, my eyes shooting daggers into Serena but my voice betraying nothing.

"Blair, please, don't do this," Serena pleaded. She must really like this Humphrey guy. Well, too bad. I really like Nate.

I widened my eyes faux-sympathetically. "Sorry! Do _you _want to tell him?" I asked Serena.

Chuck looked perturbed by the girl drama. "I'll tell him," he butted in, rolling his eyes at our nonsense.

Nate looked shocked. "You knew?" he asked. I tried to follow along with Nate's shock, because Nate didn't know that Chuck had already known, and he didn't know that _I _knew Chuck knew, and most of all, he didn't (and shouldn't) know that Chuck had comforted me last Friday. Confusing, I know. But better to keep up appearances.

Chuck smirked at Nate, winking at me covertly. "I know everything," he said quickly. My stomach flipped. _Obviously some bad caviar. _

Dan cleared his throat. The odd feeling in my stomach went away. "And apparently I know nothing..." he trailed off. Right, social destruction. What we came for.

Serena was in full damage-control mode, which could only be turned on for her mom or her boy-flavor-of-the-month. "Look, Dan, it was a long time ago and I _regeret _it..." she said her eyes wide and pleading, stressing _regret. _Pssh. Like I regretted dumping yogurt on that girl's head the other day.

Chuck rolled his eyes again, giving me a look that said, _I'll handle this. _"Serena, stop trying to _pretend _you're a good girl. So you slept with your best friend's boyfriend. I kind of admire you for it." Always the flirt. Basstard.

Dan reeled backward. "Is that true?"

I smiled, raising my eyebrows at Chuck. "Well, then she ran away and _lied _about it. I just thought you should know before you fall head-over-heels for your _perfect _girl in her _perfect _world...and then get left all alone with no one but your Cabbage Patch Kid," I said innocently, spitting the last part.

Nate furrowed his brow. "Cabbage Patch?" he asked. This was why it was hard to stay mad at him. Our of all the things he could have said, he chose to ask about Dan's doll.

Dan looked confused too, the realization slowly dawning on him. "Did you talk to my sister?" he asked me. He obviously did not trust me. That was probably wise on his part.

Chuck smiled. "Ah, yes. Little Jenny. Do believe she and I have some unfinished business..." he trailed off, winking at me again. Obviously trying to get a rise out of Dan so he could leave. Clever.

It worked. Dan got up so close to Chuck I bet he could smell the scotch on his breath and looked at him with fire in his eyes. "You stay away from her!" he yelled.

Chuck smirk widened. "Poor Daniel, so little time, so many _sluts _to defend..."

But before he could finish, Dan pushed Chuck into a waiter carrying a large tray of cocktails. The waiter fell, causing the glasses to break and everyone in the room to turn around. The parents whispered, I spotted Kati and Iz taking cell phone pics, and if looks could kill, Dan would be dead on the ground right now with the quality of the glare Chuck was giving him. He looked vaguely amused, as well, knowing that Dan would now either be kicked out or leave on his own. Good work.

Dan looked panicked. "It's fine! It's fine!" he yelled, trying to calm down the frenzy of texts and alerts. "Everyone can just stop looking! He's a jerk," he said, pointing at Chuck, who was still steaming. For good reason. He was wearing an immaculate white jacket, and if any of those mimosas had gotten on it... "But it's my fault. And I'm leaving." _Thank God. Way to take one for the team, Chuck._

"I'll go with you!" Serena pleaded, hanging on to his arm like a child.

Dan shook it off. "I'd prefer if you didn't," he told her, and stalked off.

Yes. Serena was brokenhearted and Dan was gone for good. But of course, I had an angry Nate.

"Hope you're happy," he said, glaring at me.

I tried to look sad. He had to think I was repentant. "Not even close," I said, and left, trying to catch Chuck's eye to tell him to meet up with me. We had to discuss the events and if there would be any follow-up missions.

Nate followed closely behind, so I told him I was going to the bathroom. That would chase him away. If Chuck heard me say I was going to the bathroom, he would assume I was going to purge and he would grab my hand and tell me I'm beautiful and...

Shit. When did I start to associate these emotions with Chuck Bass? He was going to be the death of me.

I just hoped he would find me soon so we could plan for our next social destruction. If he wasn't going to be the death of me, the least I could do is make sure he was the death of someone else.

* * *

Chuck found me in about five minutes. I was sitting on the little chaise lounge outside the lobby bathrooms, and I didn't realize how desperate I looked until Chuck pointed it out.

"Waldorf, waiting for your prince, are we?" he asked with a lecherous smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "More like my dark knight," I retorted, and then watched in horror as Chuck's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"You do realize I meant Nathaniel, right?" he asked. "Nonetheless, I'm assuming you're here for more scheming," he continued.

I nodded, disregarding the previous comment, even though I knew my cheeks had turned red. "We should probably talk somewhere more privately. Your suite?"

Chuck smiled. "Blair, the virgin ice queen, leading me to her suite. First time for everything. Lead the way."

Why was my stomach flipping up and down? Ugh, Chuck's lewd comments were really doing a number on me.

* * *

Once we had sat down on the couch and Chuck had poured himself another scotch (I swear, he is going to have his liver out before age 20), we got down to it.

Scheming, I mean.

"What now?" I asked. "Serena is brokenhearted, Dan is out of the picture, for now...what else can we do?"

Chuck smirked. He always had a plan. "Well, we can't be sure that the Humphreys are gone for good. But we can deal with that if the problem arises. But as for Serena...don't you think she needs more payback?"

I nodded. Revenge really was the best medicine. "Your suggestion on how to get her back?"

"Ivy week starts on Monday. I'm thinking we make her look as bad as possible for all the college scouts."

I smiled. "I can cut in during her chats, trip her in our field hockey game so she looks bad, that kind of thing?"

He nodded. "Impeccable plan," he drawled.

I sighed happily. "This really is a beautiful friendship."

"So I've been promoted to friend? I thought I was merely a casual acquaintance, only called upon when in need of a scheme."

I pretended to contemplate. "Well, you've been such a great help as of late, so I think it's only natural. Besides, I have a question to ask you. Friend to friend. About Nate."

He looked a little uncomfortable. "Aren't you guys going to break up after what he pulled with Serena today?"

I bit my lip, scooting towards him a little. I felt heat radiating off him in waves. Huh? "That's the thing. I mean, he's pulling all this shit with Serena, but he's so innocent, it's hard to stay mad at him. Has he said anything about us to you?"

Chuck looked conflicted, as if he was electing whether or not to tell me something. "No, actually," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Nate is not the confiding type, then."

Chuck snorted. "More like suffer in silence," he blurted out before realizing what he had said.

I narrowed my eyes. "You think Nate is _suffering _with me?"

Chuck tried to backtrack. "No, that's not what I meant-" he said before I cut him off.

"I really don't know why I asked your advice on this," I spat, standing up.

He put his hand on my waist. _Shit. _Lightheadedness. "You going to find Nate?" he asked. _Jealously?_

I shook his hand away. "Yes. And he and I are going to reconcile, thanks to your _wonderful advice,_" I said sarcastically, walking toward the elevator.

"Wait, Waldorf!" he called to me.

What-? Was he going to ask me to stay? Was this the part where he told me that he didn't think me and Nate should be together because he-

"Is our plan to destroy Serena still on?" he asked me.

Oh. Did I feel _disappointment? _This was bad.

I nodded. "Sure, Bass."

And then I went to find Nate, trying to ignore the weird feelings coursing through me.

* * *

Nate was in my bedroom, waiting for me. Oh no. How long had he been waiting? How long did my meeting with Chuck take?

He cleared his throat. "Listen, Blair. I just came to tell you something."

Was he breaking up with me? I would-I would have to call Chuck.

_Wait, what? _I did not just think about calling Chuck to tell him that Nate and I had broken up. What was next, inviting him over to my bedroom to snuggle and make out in my shower?

"What is it?" I asked him, hoping he wouldn't notice how my voice wavered a little.

"What you and Chuck pulled at the brunch today seriously wasn't cool. It was embarrassing to me, and frankly mean to Serena."

I made an indignant noise. "Now you're defending Serena again? I don't think I can deal with you always putting her first."

He took my hand and pulled me to sit on the bed, stroking my wrist rhythmically. "Look, Blair. Either you try to forgive me and move on...or we end it."

I let out a breath. This was it. I remembered Chuck's words, _he's more of a suffer in silence type._

I was mad at Chuck. And at Nate. And I felt butterflies for Chuck. Which was completely and utterly wrong. That had to end. The butterflies for Chuck could be easily transferred to Nate, with a little work.

So I took both of his hands in mine and looked him in his clear blue eyes. "Of course I can forgive you. We're forever."

He smiled at me and kissed me once on the lips. _No fluttering. _

And then he left.

Normally, I would be disappointed, but this was a relief.

_What the hell was happening? _This had to stop.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! I am going to be going on vacation for a week and will not be writing, so this story will take a little longer to update.**

**Hope you liked the reference to 4x09 dialogue :) that was one of my favorite episodes!**

**I finished the entire series tonight...a little bittersweet! But OMG Henry Bass! Aww...**


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